yes. i live on an island...and can't swim

a couple of weeks ago
a friend of mine said
wanna go kayaking?

and my first instinct was
efffff no.
and she knows i can't swim, right?

but then i was like
well....
this is my year of "adventure"
and, to date, i don't really have a lot of adventure
to report
(i did the play...and a radio interview...and videotaped a possible squirrel attack
but really...that's it.)

so i said ok.

i was literally sick about this
for days leading up to it.

she assured me she had a life jacket for me
(or that she would sew balloons to me...)
but this is the kind of reassuring/pull the rug out from under you
kind of friendship that we have. 
it's a special thing.

so anyway.
i took a deep breath
and i went.

and it was awesome!

trying not to look nervous...i think i nailed it.

trying not to look nervous...i think i nailed it.

like...seriously...awesome.
i loved it.  i immediately went home
and started googling
"where to buy a kayak"
and
"what size kayak will fit in my hyundai accent"...
(well, not really, more like "where can i buy a
cheap but really cute jeep"
cause i really want one of those
and i could put a kayak on top of it).

so...on a sidenote...that same day
i also drove a really big truck
(please don't ask me the size...it was
big and loud and
could have eaten my l'il hyundai accent
for a mid morning snack)
and went on the zipper with campbell...
which gets harder and harder for me every year.

it's like a ritual.
i have to go on the zipper once every year.
and every year, it gets harder because,
i don't know if you
know this about me or not,
but i'm claustrophobic.
so...i LOVE the ride.
but as soon as they shut that door
i start to panic
that i am not ever going to be able to get back out.
i don't worry that ride itself might break
midway through
and that i might be flung a million feet
in the air and crash against a building...
i am afraid that i am never going to be able to get back out
of that damn cage...

but every year i force myself to get in and not
have a complete mental breakdown in that 3 minute span
before the ride starts...
and then the ride starts and it's SO FUN!
until the ride is over
and there is that 3 minute wait
til they open the damn door again
and i'm sitting at the top
looking down
fluttering my hands nervously
and muttering why aren't we moving?
what are they doing down there?
just get me down now...
just open the door, open the door, open the gawddamned door.

i'm a lot of fun to go on rides with.

and i know this is really long and totally not what i meant to write today
but i have to tell this story because it fits so well with
why a person really SHOULD NOT BE ABLE to just get out of a ride...

the year of my husband's motorcycle accident,
i made an impromptu stop at the carnival with my kids...
i don't know why...i think i thought we just needed to blow off some steam
and laugh a little...
there was a ride there that went upside down...it was like a big boat
BUT IT WAS NOT THE PIRATE SHIP.
(everyone always says oh, the pirate ship...but it WAS NOT THE PIRATE SHIP...)

so anyway...i really wanted to go on this ride because
IT GOES UPSIDE DOWN
but neither of the kids would go on with me.
so i say...ok.  i'm going on by myself.
they agree to wait for me.
i get on the ride....the guy buckles me in...
we are waiting for the ride to start.
i start thinking
what if something happens.
what if i DIE on this ride.
and my kids are standing RIGHT THERE...watching!?!
and their dad is in the hospital in charlottetown,
he can't help...what will they do?
who will take them home? do they have their cell phones?
WHO WOULD THEY EVEN CALL...
I WOULD BE DEAD AND THEIR DAD'S IN THE HOSPITAL.

i swear to gawd all of this ran through my head
in a 2 minute span.

so.

i wriggled out of the seatbelt thing (quite easily come to think of it...)
(not that reassuring for a ride that goes upside down!)
and got off the ride.
the guy...who was just about to start the ride sees me
and looks shocked and says "get back in there!"
and i was like...sorry...no, i can't die today.  my kids are watching
and their dad's in the hospital...soooo....

like i said...i'm a lot of fun to go on rides with.

but now...what should the next adventure be???

summer bucket list - 2017

i know we are already far into july...
and i don't know about you
but i am now hitting that panicky
summer is fleeting...
it's going too fast,
i have to do more
or it's going to be gone feeling.

you know...
you get that sudden sick anxious feeling...

that
winter is coming
feeling...

i made myself a summer bucket list
at the beginning of this summer
because...well...no weddings...
means i can actually DO some things this summer.

i just realized there are already some more to
get checked off the list
as of this weekend...
and there will probably be more
that i will add to it
but for now, that's the list...
and t-minus roughly a month & one week
to get it done! (& cue panicky feeling again)
(although some of these will bleed over into fall...like tree-go & maybe cabot trail)

and (although it's been proven unwise
for me to ask this in the past,
i am always open to suggestions as well..
whatcha got on YOUR summer bucket list?)
(everyone DOES make one, right?
it's not just me...)

and a pretty flower picture....just...because...it's a pretty flower.