5 truths...

i bought a short skirt.
much shorter than what i would normally
wear...
and i like it.

i don't want to go back to work today.

i am discouraged about not losing any weight
this past week...
but not discouraged enough to give up.

i am getting a small headache.

i ate all the strawberries
before
anyone else
could have one.

checking in on a sunny day...

on vacation this week...
not going anywhere really...just not going to work
{which is enough for me, heehee}

things that are making me giddy-happy at this precise moment?

12-now-13's sleepover horror-movie-fest birthday party
was a success...and is over...{both make me happy}

i'm going to hear anne marie macdonald read tonight...
with my sister in law who loved this book as much as i did.

middle of the afternoon phone calls from s. just to say
that he is thinking of me...after almost ten years of marriage.

sunshine...after days and days of torrential rain...

this book...and watching this series still with s.

garlic, lemon, olive oil, vinegar...on everything.

sun warm strawberries right in my own yard.

an email from a salty girl...

1st day of 2nd vacation...

today is the first day of second week of vacation...
and it is the first sunny day in weeks...
i was going to mow the lawn
and start cleaning out what is going
to be my new "me" area...
{why is it i can't use the word studio?}

but.

instead i am going to pack up the kids
and spend the day with my best friend...
playing in her pool, taking pictures,
listening to the kids marvel at
the freedom a nose plug can give...
i'm going to spend the evening at my
sister in law's cottage,
where alcohol will be offered
but politely declined
after having imbibed a little too much
on the weekend.

i had a great weekend reconnecting with
some old friends...laughing about drunken
antics from 20 years ago...
wondering about those girls...
those girls that were us...
did we really do those things?
was that us?
was that me?
time is funny.

and i have to the conclusion
that i am a stage in my life where i need my friends,
i need them closer than i have in a long time.
my kids are getting older,
they need me less and less...
this is the time in my life where i need to let
some of the focus fall on me,
so that the less they need me will not hurt so much.
it is good for them to rely on themselves,
to be their own people...
it is good for me to rely on myself...
to be my own person.

it is a faint line to find sometimes...
where others end and i begin.

thirteen...

in the blink of an eye,
she has turned thirteen.

i have already the story
of how she came to me..to us...

i see in her
glimmers of what she will be...
of what is to come.

she knows her own mind
and although she will try to see your side,
sometimes her mind is just already made up.
she knows what she likes and
what she doesn't.
she likes anything eighties, hot pinks and lime greens,
ac dc, twisted sister, her ipod, playing rockband and sing star...
she likes watching cheesy game shows on tv,
her best friend bekka and strawberry shortcake.
she likes to build things.

she doesn't like stereotypes, especially gender based.
she doesn't like anything too preppy for clothes,
doesn't like really baggy clothes or too tight,
no coconut cream pie, no lemon meringue...
she doesn't like slow music.
she doesn't like anyone else picking on her little brother,
other than her.

she is funny and sweet and smart and sarcastic...
she is my baby, my first...
my emma jayne.

i believe...

inspired by rachel at metaphorical magpie...

i believe that good pens can inspire new thoughts.

i believe in the power of lemon meringue pie to make the day feel better.

i believe in sesame street, in kermit the frog,
in the philosophy of ernie and bert.

i believe in wishing over traintracks, in the car, fingers crossed
on the window, feet lifted off the floor.

i believe in love, in love at first sight,
in one person only, in monogamy,
in longlastinginsicknessorinhealth...for-good-or-for-bad.

i believe in music as a soundtrack salve for life.

i believe in forgiveness, but i also believe some things
are worth holding a grudge.

i believe that grief is like an onion, with layers anew
for each added life experience.

i believe my glass is almost always half full.

i believe in not always telling the truth,
not if it's going to hurt someone else.

i believe in calm, in retrospect, in self awareness,
in the moment.

i believe in consequence.

i believe in magic, but i also believe in proof.

i believe in saying i love you everyday, without fail,
no matter your mood...because you. just. don't. know.

i believe in santa claus.