socially backwards and incomprehensible

i don't understand
why i am so
socially stunted.

our local writer's guild
had an event the other night
and i wanted to go to it for many reasons
but namely
this one...another blogger!  that lives where i live!
and that professes to like jelly beans!!

but when i got there
i realized
it was table seating.
with other people.

i felt a little ill for a moment
{i should mention here that it was advertised as a networking event,
in no way, shape or form did the writer's guild trick or bait and switch me into being social...
i just kind of ignored the networking part as i focused my glassy stalker eyes on the word blogger}

i almost left.

i stood at the door for a second and debated.

but then a nice lady said "are you here for the writer's panel"
and i whispered "yes"
and she pointed me to the registration table
where i had a small panic attack over what color marker to use to write my name
{what would pink say? what does red say? i think i should take orange but i always take orange}
to wondering if i should put my last name
and why do i always draw a happy face?

and in a moment of blind panic i grabbed the first empty seat at the first empty table i could see
{oh.  i am a good networker obviously}
and then when other people sat down and made small talk
i answered with things that made me immediately want to faceplant into the table.
too much info!  too much info!
i went to the bathroom where this girl in an awesome dress came in
while i was debating my choice of sweater
and whether my dress was too grunge and too young for my 43 year old self...
or 42...or whatever it is i am....

and she said
i like your sweater
and instead of thanks i give the usual too much weird information
"thanks!  i took it from the bag of old hand me downs my 16 year old was giving to the salvation army"
or something to that embarrassing effect.
and then i bolted.

imagine my surprise when the writer's lined up on that stage
and there was the blogger i had come to see,
in the awesome dress i had just silently admired in the bathroom.

but the great part about this is that i did flag her down after and
we had a conversation about blogging and anonymity vs using your own name
and other blogs we admire and it was great.
and although i networked with no one else and quickly made a dashing exit
without even telling my tablemates goodbye
i was still proud of myself.

oh...and go read her.
she's awesome.