silence....sweet and unexpected...

 

i am always surprised by how silence can sound now
considering i very rarely experience it...
but today the kids are gone
and my own are with b. for swimming and supper
and i don't know where the great and powerful ogg is...

you will have to ignore my wordiness
as i am reading a biography of sylvia plath
and i find whatever i read tends to take over my head
for some time afterwards....

we have heard from the mortgage broker
that she considers the house to be almost
(damn that almost)
100% ours...
its hard to beleive that i could actually own a house
or co own
or actually
not even own at all now that i think about it...
it is entirely in oggs name as i am of the self employed nature...
however...
it is still
hard to beleive

 

ok...now i'm scared...

just came from mortgage broker
and
she was sooooo damn confident and sure and positive
that she could do this for us
that she could get us the previously unattainable...
a house...
holy holy holy
but
i am not going to get to freaked out
chances are
it will alllll fall apart within the next
24 to 72 hours
and then you can all tune in to see me
crash
and
burn
in painful agony and bitter defeat...
ba. ha. ha.