whatcha readin'? {goal 48 - books 17 to 20)

A little bit of a book dump📖
today because I am definitely
further along then 17 so thought
I would share up to #20 to catch up a little…

17. THE WIFE - MEG WOLITZER
❤️❤️❤️ out of 5 ❤️’s

So I think I picked this one up
in a book sale somewhere…
definitely a second hand pick.
I struggled a little with the high acclaim it had
because I found it a little slow moving…
and not really surprising
as far as plot twists go.
I am curious about the movie though…
what a great cast!

18. REMARKABLY BRIGHT CREATURES -
SHELBY VAN PELT
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Now this one I loved.
I loved this story,
especially the POV of the octopus.
And Tova’s stubbornness and
independence,
which, not gonna lie,
I can kinda relate to.
I felt like I could see the answer early
but was also not sure that it was
even meant to be hidden.

I watched the Netflix adaptation
and I love Sally Field in anything…
the movie was good on it’s own
but I definitely preferred the book.

19. THE BACKYARD BIRD CHRONICLES -
AMY TAN
💛💛💛out of 5 (yellow is non-fiction)

I wanted to love this, I really did.
And I did love it in the beginning but
I think that maybe I read it wrong.
I had it as a virtual copy and read it
all as one book
but in hindsight, I wish I had the paper copy
and that I had just picked it up
here and there…
I think I would have appreciated it more
especially since it is laid out in short essays
with drawings.
But I did enjoy it & don’t regret getting this one.
Also, I love Amy Tan’s fiction books.

20. HELD - ANNE MICHAELS
❤️❤️❤️❤️

I was not prepared to like this book
as much as I did.
I was very confused in the beginning
as to what was happening but eventually
caught on….
the writing was beautiful.
This book made me feel quiet
and wordy. and slow.
in a good way.

“I missed her more than ever this time. Everywhere we were made me think of her. I almost thought I’d see her if I turned my head.” He was fully awake now. “Sometimes I think I see her too,” Peter said, “out of the corner of my eye, if you can see a feeling.”

“Yes, I think you can.”

If you can see a feeling.
That line.
That line. 💔

That takes me to almost the
end of June…
and I finished my 30th book yesterday
so getting closer to the goal.
I have to read 18 more to hit it
and 11 of that 18 have to be off my
26 in 2026 list.

Yes. I do this to myself.
On purpose.
🤭

whatcha readin'? {goal 48 - book 16}

BROKEN COUNTRY - CLARE LESLIE HALL
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Book 16/48 (JUNE)
*possible small spoiler alert

I really struggled with what
to rate this one.
I loved the writing.
And the story really carried me along.
Yet…part of me wanted to rate it lower…
but then I realized that it was not because
of the book, not because of the writing and
also not because I didn’t love the characters.
But I didn’t love what one of the characters did.
(Two really but one for sure.)
And I realized after that
this is more from an emotional hurt that
I still carry
rather than anything to do with the book.

And the fact that it made me feel that strongly
should count for something.

And it sounds like there might be a movie adaptation
of this one at some point! :)

NEXT UP: THE WIFE - MEG WOLITZER

friday i'm in love...

Nothing like knowing that the
annual website payment is coming up
to make you realize
you DON’T BLOG ENOUGH
to warrant paying for a website
and yet,
year after year, you pay for it
because you have 21 years of memories
and truths and stories
and photos wrapped up in here.

so suddenly, you feel the need
to blog TWICE in one week.

anyway…on to
THE LIST OF ALL THAT I LOVE RIGHT NOW:

🌷I watched the first episode of this
so far and I liked it…it’s not the same
and I guess that’s ok…it will never be
the original (I’m sorry, there will never be
another Pa Ingalls to match
the one in my memory)
but that’s ok. It was still good.

🌷heeheeheehee #guilty

🌷i was doing this wayyyy before
it was a trend…

🌷my current obsession

🌷and this

🌷oh…and i watched kung fu panda 4
AND IT WAS SOOOOO GOOD.
in a just-makes-me-happy-kinda-way :)

annnnnnd….we are planning a
newfoundland take 2 trip
since our first efforts were a bust
due to a broken ferry…
so STAY TUNED FOR THAT ADVENTURE!!!

tuesday truth....

i feel like summer
is flying by
in the blink of an eye…
and it makes me panicky.
Scared that it will be gone
before I know it,
and painfully aware
that I cannot control it.

That’s my biggest fear, you know.
Things that are out of my control.
It’s why I always want to be the driver.
Why I am scared to fly.
Why I am hesitant to date.
I don’t like to be in situations
that feel out of my control
and I really, really don’t like
to be around people
who are out of control
and chaotic and loud…and unpredictable.

It’s why I like to be alone.
Alone is safe.
Even with a leaky roof,
home is predictable. It’s a cocoon
full of all the things
I love.

And my fear of loss of control
has gotten worse
since I had no control over
losing the people
I loved most.

I came here to write about fairies
and new markers and
to justify paying for this website
even though
i barely use it
but instead some truth leaked out
because, apparently, in that
i have no control.

Tomorrow I’ll show you my new markers.
🤭

tuesday truth...

over here,
we are trying.
we are trying to find our “ok” selves.
we are trying.
we are trying to sink into summer
without sinking into
the quicksand of sadness
when we think
about last summer.

every time i go to a beach,
i remember.
when i pass the crepe place,
when i see richmond dairy bar..
when i pass a bingo hall,
when i see the casino,
when i think of the carnival,
the store that used to be McCormacks,
a pack of cigarettes laying on the ground,
red rose tea bags,
a woman with her hair cut,
elvis presley,
when a stranger orders fish and chips.
i see her in my daughter.
i hear her sometimes in my own words.
and i look for her
everywhere.

i hear her laugh,
i feel her here like she is so damn close
that i could get a swat for swearing…
i want to call her, to see her,
to hug her, to save her
i want to fucking save her.
i want to save her.

but i can’t.
and i didn’t.
because you know where i was?

the fucking beach.

(and no matter what the logical
side of my brain will say
my heart will never, ever forgive myself
for that. for that. for that.
who could forgive themselves
for that.)

i don’t write this for forgiveness
or attention or likes.

i write it because i have to
get the words out of me.
because sometimes
i think i might suffocate
in the quicksand.

(logically I know. I know. I know.
but my heart is sometimes
painfully illogical…and broken.)

not what i came here to say..
but this is what seeped out.