shoeboxes and good advice

my 9 year old well intentioned daughter emma
just made a shoebox advice column with her freind jessica...
at first i was a little worried that their enthusiam
would soon turn to disappointment
when it didn't get the responses they were banking on
but
i am happy to say
that i was SO wrong...

emma brought home the box yesterday
with at least 15
touching, sad or amusing questions
from different people in her class
ranging from
"my question is it too cold out?"
to
"nobody likes me"
and in between
"i want a dog, how do i get one?"
i am very curious to see what kind of answers the "bratz girls"
as they have named themselves
will come up with...

reading the questions
brought back all that elementary school feelings
of worry and anxiety and why does this girl play with me today
but giggle about me tomorrow
and is that note that they are passing around about me
and what if i ask to go to the bathroom, will i get yelled at...

i was a very anxious child
i wish someone had started an shoebox-advice column then
heh heh

barely. holding. up. eyelids.so. sleepy.

ayyyy yie yie...
if we don't get this house done soon...

the kids are sick of going to the new house
and bickering and fighting and whining and complaining

we are tired
and it just seems so damn fucking
overwhelming
when
everytime we go
it seems like we have done
nothing yet
besides
make a mess....
christ almighty
we have gone thru
over 80
hefty duty fucking garbage bags...

on a brighter note tho
i did get to help shingle the roof
did i tell you that?
i've told so many people i can't even keep track anymore...
yep
and i wasn't just passing him the shingles either
i was tarring 'em, laying 'em out and hammering those bastards in
heh heh heh

i love owning a house

ewwwwwww...

i feel ill
i just read in the paper
that one of my former
favorite
high school teachers
was just charged with sexual exploitation of a teenager...
he is 65
he paid her to do things
i feel sick
i feel sick
i feel sick
he was at my wedding reception

i feel ill

how can this be...

things not to say at the hairdressers...

my daughter has been growing her hair since grade one
she is now in her final month of grade four
and last night when i asked my mop-topped son if he wanted to get a haircut
emma said what about me?
surprised, i asked her if she wanted to and she said yes
so i immediately took advantage of situation
envisioning mornings of tangle/stress-free-school-preparation

went thru a magazine to get an idea of what she wanted
and she
typically
chose a very punkish short and razored in the back, long uneven pieces in the front
type of cut
and off we went to the hairdresser...

emma wanted me to come back to the chair with her
so i took campbell with me and we sat in the next chair while
emma got her hair cut...it was waist length so it took awhile

suddenly emma looks over at me
and brightly says, "well, mom...we won't have to worry about lice anymore"
heh heh
i was very quick to point out to her
and to everyone within listening distance
that yes, that is true, and ALSO she was really lucky NOT to have gotten lice
considering alot of children in her class HAVE had it but she was lucky NOT to
have gotten it...
all i could think was that the hairdresser was probably thinking is this why they are
here getting waist length hair cut off so short????
and to make matter worse
or funnier
depending on which side of the audience you are on
picture this conversation happening with my 5 year old boy
sitting on my knee
covered in a rash and calamine lotion
good god
i have become my mother...
:)

creepy in a hitchcockian-the-birds kinda way

i'm at the computer
which is nowhere near a window
and can hear this strange chittering schreeching kinda noise
so i go to see if the kids are doing something
but they are not
so i go to the patio door
where the sound intensifies
threefold
and then i see at least 6 big black birds attacking each other on the ground
and one huge bird takes off with a mouse or something
and the others follow
attacking and screaming
and this goes on
all the way around the house
with the big bird landing and the others attacking
and then they all take off again
swooping and diving
and scaring the bejesus out of me
even tho i'm safe in the house....

my mother once called my father at work
and told him to come home
because the tree outside the window was
full of birds
and she was scared
and i laughed at her
but...
i'm not the one laughing now