this is the bandana/kerchief experiment that i am currently working on...
i'm pretty happy with the colors
and can't wait to finish it.
sorry for the poor quality pictures...
i wanna new camera! wah. wah.

the other thing i can't wait for?
friday.
actually...
friday night.
friday at roughly 5:15 to be precise.
this week cannot end fast enough.
in case you haven't guessed
or anticipated
today sucked.

sucked.
sucked.
sucked.

heres to hoping that tomorrow is a fresh start.
i need one.

speaking volumes...


i just wrote my morning pages and a big
theme today is "what do i want to do
with my life" yet again...

i met with my instructors from my early childhood
education course today and a big theme
of the conversation revolved around,
(you guessed it)
"what does geekgirl want to be
when she grows up"

then i read simple abundance tonight
and it spoke volumes to me...

"Today take a real risk that can change your life:
start thinking of yourself as an artist and your
life as a work-in-progress. Works-in-progress
are never perfect. But changes can be made
to the rough draft during rewrites. Another
color can be added to the canvas. The film
can be tightened during editing. Art evolves.
So does life. Art is never stagnant. Neither
is life. The beautiful, authentic life you are
creating for yourself and those you love is
your art. It's the highest art. "Since you are
like no other being ever created since the
beginning of time, you are incomparable,"
writer Brenda Ueland reminds you."

what i have taken from this
is that i should not be hard on myself
for not knowing what i want to do...
i should be happy that i am fluid
and open-minded and full of ideas...
i should be looking at it as a positive
rather than a negative...
and then,
i should be acting on some of those ideas.

synchronicities...

i have been reading simple abundance
along with doing the artist way book...
and it is funny to me the same themes are showing up
but framed in a different light...

AW has morning pages,
SA has inner dialogue done in stream of consciousness
(which is how i do morning pages also)

AW has artist dates,
SA has a list of suggestions at the back of each month
of things that you can do during the month...
i have been using some of these suggestions
as my artists dates.

AW had the reading deprivation week,
SA suggests going a day without reading or watching tv...
the whole idea in SA or how i interpreted it
was to stop listening to the opinions of others
(whether it be news or tv or newspapers or gossip columns)
so that you could listen more deeply
to yourself and find your own opinions on things.
When i thought about this concept, i realized how
much of an on-the-fence person i can be sometimes...
how i can be not so much a black or white but
always-negotiating-the-grey-kind-of-person...

i guess what i am saying in a round-about way
is that i am enjoying reading simple abundance
along with artist's way...they compliment each other nicely...
they play well together...
and in my line of work, i'm always looking for
people that play well together...
:)

i had one other little synchronicity that i thought
was interesting enough to note...
when i was in grade five, we knew that we were
going to get a certain teacher for grade six.
we dreaded it.
we wrote a petition at the end of grade five
to convince the powers-that-be to let us continue
on our educational path with the teacher we
currently had.
we could hear our prospective teacher yelling at his
students daily and knew that he was very cross.
he would also be our first male teacher.
we were terrified.

but we had him for grade six, despite our best efforts not to
and, as it turned out, he was the best teacher i ever had.

i told him that one day in the mall where i worked.
he didn't remember me because alzheimers had begun to set in
but i felt good because i got to tell him.
he died a couple of years later.

yesterday i picked up a peter gzowski book at
the used bookstore and debated whether or not
to buy it...i opened the front cover
and there was his name...
as the previous owner...

i bought the book.

sweet and sunny saturdays...



































i woke up early this morning
and went for a walk.

the fog was suddenly heavy and thick.

i walked down by the water where people
appeared and disappeared,
weaving in and out of the mist
as i took pictures of the rocks
and the uncertain loose borders
between frozen water and sky.

as i walked home
i was smitten by the outline
of the trees
against the crisp blue.

it made me laugh out loud
in wonder
it made me feel small against the universe
but it made me aware
of being alive...
giddy and gracious
and full of words and plans.

looking forward to menopause.

ok.
i was going to do a friday grateful list
or a weekly recap of things i have read/done/watched
but
the truth is
i am too damn cranky right now
to do anything.

there was no school today
the kids fought all day
i am pmsing
and i am so sour right now
i feel like i could chew my arm off.

so instead of waxing poetic about
the things i did enjoy all week
i am going to sit here and stew in my frustration
by blaring music into my head via headphones...
ear damage be damned.

heh.