poetry thursday....

veering away from the prompt
with my husband in mind.

on saturdays
when you are not here
i become uncertain
of where i am
i become a man
without a plan
unmoored
and drifting around a
cluttered house
determined and
then listless-
no plan in hand
to do lists all jumbled up
in my lost
and lonely
head.
no action to be followed
no organization to be lead.
just waiting for you
to come
home
again.

reminding me why i love them so...

(seven and his dog)

i do have kids.

i know i don't talk about them here
all that much, every now and then,
but not a whole lot.

but then sometimes they do something
that makes me have to document it...
so on the days when i want to drop
them off in the school's parking lot
and let them wait until monday morning,
i can remind myself of better moments.

case in point:
i look after two afterschoolers
as well as the child with autism that i
have all day
and my own two, who are 7 and 11.
the after schoolers are 6 and 10 and
both boys.
my son tries very hard to be cool
and funny and hip and smart and liked
by the boys
but the other day, he let his guard down
and cuddled into me on the couch
for a minute...
the other boys teased him
and said "oooooohhhh, why are you cuddling, ewwww"
and seven (my son) said "what! are you crazy!
cuddling is fun!"
and then whispered in my ear
"i'm so lucky to have you for a mom".

and yeah.
i got teary.

its friday and i love....

it's raining here.
it's dark and damp
and cool.

i don't mind it too much
really...
but i do
feel that
the weather is
greatly influencing my
list of loves
for today.

listening i have renewed my friendship with tori amos
and sarah mclachlan. we have been friends for a long time,
pretty close friends really...they spent many, many nights
with me singing softly in the background of my life.
i have been playing those two on repeat for about a week and
a half now, when one ends the other begins.

reading i finished reading the book the pact by jodi picoult
and honestly, it did manage to pull me in about 3/4's of the
way through...i read frantically to the end in order to find
out what the real story was...it was not the best read i have
ever had, but by far not the worst. i'm not sure if i would
read more by her...definately not if i had to buy it myself,
lent? well, maybe.

next on the reading list, the lovely bones...with an open mind.
(hmmmm...i didn't realize that was going to be a movie?)

watching greys anatomy, of course....i adore that show...
and planning on watching the break up tonight...i like
jennifer aniston (heh. and i really do despise angelina
jolie...not just because of the whole pitt/aniston/jolie
love triangle, but just on a matter of principle. hee.)

eating brown sugar on toast. i know. but i like it.

knitting a green on green blanket for one of my best
friends for christmas....and it feels like it is taking me
forever!

and doing all this while basking the glow of lamplight,
and breathing in the scent of warm apple candle tarts.

mmmm.

poetry thursday...

i didn't really have a type of
poetry that i actively stay away from
although i tend to be drawn
to darker, shorter, terse words.

so i opted on doing
found
poetry instead
which means that
i opened a book i normally
keep lists in
and found this poem,
these words,
making me wonder
what i was doing at that time,
what struggle was i facing...

so...today's found poetry:

i feel sad today
irrefutably sad
sad like you find on
cereal box tops
collect me send me in i'm your prize
sad
while waiting for you
to speak
to me...
bad backwards driver
red tinged anger
my last line of defense
of explanation
of why
a plaintive
"well?"
before the silence
began.