too much candy=bad, bad dreams.

(picture taken by seven)
trick or treating is the only part
of halloween that i like....
i hate the hassles of having to
have costumes at the beginning of october
because the kids end up having to
get dressed up at least once a week
for some thing or another
and invariably, by the time we
get to the actual day of halloween
the costumes are missing peices
and we are scrambling to
put something together.

but the actual trick or treating,
that part i like,
especially on a night like last night...
the weather was gorgeously mild.

the funny thing was having to
explain at each house that
i was not a trick or treater,
i was the mom,
who was carrying the pillowcase
because it was too heavy
for the son who was exhausted
and just a little whiney...
one woman went so far as to do
a double take
and say "but...you're so young"
well...ok...if 36 is that young to
have a seven year old, heehee.

my husband got a great kick out of it,
especially when seven would call out
to him "another person thought mom
was a kid, dad!"

but about the bad dreams.
leaving my son at my old high school
by accident...trying to find him on
the highway...seeing a lion in a costume...
lion following me...walking into a strangers
house to get away from lion...older
couple having sex in living room...
man getting dressed, taking lion by
neck into basement and shooting him.

no more chocolate covered peanuts for me, please.

the poor tree

we had some strong wind last night
and woke up to this
in the neighbor's yard...


it makes me sad
that the tree came down...
it was one of the ones that was
right outside our living room window,
by the window where we eat...

after taking pictures of the tree,
i decided to give my poor neglected garden
some much needed attention
and prepare it for the winter
so i spent a couple of hours
ripping out all the plants from this summer
and then raking out the multitude of leaves
and turning the soil....
it was still windy
but mild enough to wear just a hoodie
and the smells of earth and wet leaves
mixed with the strong scent of burning
hickory on the wind...
it was a moment that allowed you to
"be present" with great ease...
to revel in that moment
of being alive.

poetry thursday....

veering away from the prompt
with my husband in mind.

on saturdays
when you are not here
i become uncertain
of where i am
i become a man
without a plan
unmoored
and drifting around a
cluttered house
determined and
then listless-
no plan in hand
to do lists all jumbled up
in my lost
and lonely
head.
no action to be followed
no organization to be lead.
just waiting for you
to come
home
again.

reminding me why i love them so...

(seven and his dog)
i do have kids.

i know i don't talk about them here
all that much, every now and then,
but not a whole lot.

but then sometimes they do something
that makes me have to document it...
so on the days when i want to drop
them off in the school's parking lot
and let them wait until monday morning,
i can remind myself of better moments.

case in point:
i look after two afterschoolers
as well as the child with autism that i
have all day
and my own two, who are 7 and 11.
the after schoolers are 6 and 10 and
both boys.
my son tries very hard to be cool
and funny and hip and smart and liked
by the boys
but the other day, he let his guard down
and cuddled into me on the couch
for a minute...
the other boys teased him
and said "oooooohhhh, why are you cuddling, ewwww"
and seven (my son) said "what! are you crazy!
cuddling is fun!"
and then whispered in my ear
"i'm so lucky to have you for a mom".

and yeah.
i got teary.