5 minutes before i go out the door

i am reading elizabeth gilberts eat pray love.

and i have to say that i love it.
that i am devouring it.
that i am saying italian words out loud
without a fathom of how to pronounce them...

i am rereading paragraphs...
i am thinking i should be taking notes...
but then i think no,
this is a book you will read a second time...
there will be time for note taking then.

i am really really enjoying this book
and i hadn't expected to.
i am always wary of the hype
but in this case,
much deserved.

although
i do wonder if part of it
isn't that it has come to me
at just the right time in my life...
how maybe some of the things she is
searching for
inspire me
because maybe
i am searching for the same.

things i'm looking forward to::a list

~starting this book today
~daylight savings time
~longer days
~sunshine
~warm weather
~barefeet
~finding my creative cycle again
~finding energy again
~bedtime
~starting this book this month
~finding time for me

as i wrote this without thinking, without planning
i can see two themes here.
one::i am tired of winter
two::i am tired of running in circles and need to make
some time for myself again...i can feel it my bones,
in my posture, in my belly...i am craving something
all the time but can't put a name on what it is...
i am losing myself in all the busyness...

i need to force myself to slow down,
i need to pump the brakes.
to take a breath.
and find a way to release it.

belated

on my father's birthday
i grew a 3 dimensional tunnel out of paper,
planted jellybeans and grew dandelions as tall as the sun
i took off my socks
and walked barefeet
into the snow...

i built windwills in my mind
out of sleds and a couple of sticks

i made a seesaw that
went up and down
and spun
round and round

i skated on puddles
and tapped my fingers on the cupboards
drumming up a familiar beat

i ate cornflakes on my ice cream
{and added brown sugar
to make it sweet}...

on my father's birthday
i did all the things
he taught me to do
{do do de do do
do do}

my dad is visiting las vegas right now...

one day while i was work
taking payments and listening to sad stories,
these words kept bubbling up...
so i kept a pad beside me
and jotted them down
in between customers...
and this was the result...
and the last line is something he says
all the time...
it is a frequent joke in our house...

tuesday.

today when i got home
the sun had not yet gone down,
there was still light, there was still day left...
just a smidgen but enough to make me long for
summer...
for the scent of barbeques
and to see the kids playing in the street...
for barefeet
and less layers....
strawberries and sunflowers...
fresh cut grass...
buzzing bees.

yeah.
summer sounds good right now.

borrowing....

if you knew me well, you would know...

~that i clap my hands often and randomly with no apparent reasoning

~that i name things i love fred...goldfish, purple spotted dinosaurs, soup cans...
that kinda thing.

~i am a recovered pepsi addict.

~i am now a strong diet coke addict instead...in the can...always in a can.

~i hate the word moist. it makes me cringe.

~i love the smell of lilacs and i love the smell of vanilla.

~when i was a kid, i wanted to be a taxi driver.

~i am fascinated by heavy machinery. the lines, the colors, the size,
the textures...i can sometimes feel like it takes my breath away.

i borrowed this idea here...and it was a lot of fun...play along!