5 moments of truth...


one.
i loved loved loved loved the poetry readings last week.
and no...i didn't read even though i carried a crumply folded up
into a square typed up poem in my pocket...it was far too soon.
but i am so glad that i went...it was inspiring and energizing and
and it made me realize that i don't always have to write the same
way...i might have some other styles i would like to try.

two.
i pushed myself out of my comfort zone besides just by going
to the readings....i talked to people, too.

three.
i forgot how much i like dragonlance books...especially by
these authors...

four.
i really really really want {and need} a snow day tomorrow...

five.
it's only 8:42...but i'm ready for bed.

thursday anticipation


tonight i am taking a step,
i'm putting myself out there...

i'm meeting a friend
that i haven't seen in a long time
at a university
to go to a open mic/readings...
i'm not good when i don't know what to expect
and the option is there
to sign up,
to read your own stuff out loud...
which is on my list of things to do at some point in my life
but something tells me
not today....
the fact that i am going is enough for today...

i'll take that other step
another day.

baby steps.

Comebacks and resolutions...


it is already the 15th of january
and i am just starting to feel like me again...
had a hacking cough and flu
for the past 3 weeks or so
which really knocked me down
but i'm starting to recognize me again...

i have been working on some resolutions
and feel good about what i have so far,
i feel like it encompasses many of the
aspects of my life that i feel have been
suffering over the past year
because...
let's face it
2010 was not my best year.

but 2011?
2011 still feels fresh and shiny and new
like a blank page
waiting for me to make my mark.

2011 Resolutions::

1. to be healthier-eat better, exercise, drink more water
{my goal this time: energy...i'm not focusing on weight}

2. to make more connections with like minded people,
in real life as well as in the internet world...to be more social

3. to push myself out of my comfort zone more often and in
new ways...

4. to read more and watch less mindless tv

5. to work on our debt

6. to enjoy more quality time, more present-in-the-moment time
with S. and the kids and my family and friends

7. to cut out Diet Coke

8. to make some progress on my Mondo Beyondo Grande list.

i feel good about this list and i feel good about my word
for 2011...which is going to be connect.
i feel that this embodies a lot of what i want to accomplish
this year, i have gotten too comfortable just being home...
i want to step out of that comfort zone...
there are many things on my Mondo Beyondo list
that are not going to get accomplished
if i don't start putting myself out there and making some connections.

Connect. As a verb. As a plan. As a step forward.

and then...it was gone...


in the blink of an eye
it feels like it's over
and i'm left reeling a little bit...
this year it seemed so sudden
so fast, so fleeting, so quick....
other years, i have wanted to slow down
and savor the season
but this year,
this year,
i hate to say...i powered through it.
did all my shopping in one condensed trip
set my alarm for 5 am and did the wrapping...
no meat pies this year
didn't even see the grinch...

but the funny thing is
the look on their faces
when i got the routine backwards Christmas morning
and wanted them to open their Santa presents
before their stockings
was priceless...and how they automatically corrected me
at 11 and 15...no...stockings first...as much as we want to see
what is in these Santa presents that you are so excited to see us open...

and in the end...
they were happy.
and
that
is
all that
matters
to me.

and i breathe a sigh of relief that 2010 is almost over.
and i hold tight in my fist my wishes for 2011 to be an easier year...
i know it's not going to happen on it's own...
i know i have work to do to make it happen...
i am just really looking forward to that fresh start of a new year.
i am really
just
looking
forward.