post-a-poem 9 {2012}

in poem it out, we are talking about excavating 
and unearthing and digging
to find 
ourselves
and using poetry 
as a tool,
as a means,
using our history to bring forth words...


this is from 2010 
but when i read it now
i am back in the exact moment
in an instant.


the morning after you
set the fire
i sat on the
blue couch
and begged
God
{or someone}
to help me...
what do i do now?
what have i done?
where do i go?
give me direction
[my breath felt like an implosion
within my chest] [like fire] [like ice]
you sat in the bedroom above me
and drew scars
on your
wrists.

where do we go from  here.


post-a-poem 8 {2012}

the things i wish i would have said
would fill the hole in the ozone layer
they are sharp and jagged
and full of acid
bitter bone dry dusty pills to swallow
they stick in your throat
like chalk
and dirt
and splintered grains of glass.

the things i wish i would have said...
the things i let you say to me
if i could rewind
i would be a much meaner girl
instead
of little ole meek and mild me.

but there is no rewind
there is only moving foward from here
and the truth is
i wouldn't go back anyway.

{this was inspired by a prompt given by liz in her poem it out course...things i wish i would have said...}