tuesday truths...

i am aware of how fast
life is rushing past me
and somedays
{a lot of days}
i feel like i am just caught up in it's current
of to-do lists
and doctor's appointments,
physio
and phone calls from the school,
deadlines,
meeting times,
answering emails,
missed phone calls...
running to catch up
feeling like i am constantly
falling behind.

and realizing this has become a sad refrain
here...the same story told
just using different words.

so in the last couple of days
when i found time to sit and watch
12-almost-13 show me {countless} videos on minecraft...
when i listened to 17's storys about boys and school
and tried to just listen and not interject...
when i realized that suddenly
almost by mistake
we were all sitting on the couch again
watching america's funniest home videos
like we used to every sunday,
i just try to slow that moment down
and breathe it in...
cautiously, slowly, not to disturb, not to cause notice...
but just to give me something to hold onto
when i am caught up in the current...

small stolen moments

this morning i am:
sleepy-eyed and hair standing on end
sitting in a winnie the pooh bathrobe
by the light of the computer
tapping tapping tapping
morse code the only way i know how
random thoughts and fluttering wings
no lunches made
not ready for the day to begin.

trying to find my way back to me.

little bits of sweetness at 6 am

  • a belated birthday supper with 2 of my bestest friends that i have known since grade one...
  • the feeling of sinking into a routine...comforting and warm and reliable
  • S is doing so much better every day...each leg getting a little bit stronger...
  • sliced cucumber in a bowl sprinkled with salt and a pepper with a squirt of lemon juice
  • watching the middle and modern family again and the fact that 12-almost-13 still wants to do that with us
  • 12-almost-13's magic trick with a paper bag and a ball made of air
  • 17 settling in to a new school year even without her best friend there (he graduated the year before) and the rekindling of one of her childhood friendships...she seems happy and i love to see her happy.
  • being able to find a little time to get here again....
  • fall.  crisp leaves and flocks of geese flying outside my window...3 V formations mixing together to form one...

getting back in the groove

i am trying to get back here.
i think about it at least once a day
but with a full time job
and over 14000 wedding photos in the editing queue...
dr appointments up the yingyang
a house that needs cleaning
kitty litter that needs emptying
a partial marathon to start training for
and two kids to spend time with
things
are
stretched
pretty
thin...

so i am going to try to ease back in
with a picture here
and there
and maybe
a smattering of words.

that is my plan.