5 happy things on a sunday...

i started this blog like…
14 years ago…
which kinda blows my mind
a little bit.

when i first started blogging,
it was such a great thing for me…
i have always been a little odd,
felt a little bit “on the edges” of belonging
but here,
in the internet…
i thrive.
i connect.
and it gave me the confidence to
let that spill out a little bit
into the real world, which has changed my life, in very good ways.

for the first 10 or 12 years I had this blog,
i didn’t tell anyone about it.
i didn’t share it.
i didn’t use my real name on it.
if you found me back then,
you found me by accident.

well, obviously, I have gone in the opposite direction now.
:)

But only because people are so nice about it
and seem genuinely interested or least tolerant of my
ramblings and going-ons. Heehee.

Anyway, Liz (who was always one of my most favorite bloggers)
used to do a thing called 5 really good things…
i’m not sure if she still does regularly
but i thought about that tonight as i wanted to share
some things that made me happy on a dark Sunday night….

(also, go read this post by her. Sigh. This is why she was my favorite blogger.)

5 happy things on a sunday

1. jujubes (pronounced ju-ju-beez) … especially the green ones…and the red…

2. my mom’s homemade spaghetti

3. laughing so hard i can’t breathe at my parent’s house, spending the afternoon with them & 20.

4. a 2 hour friday night phone call with my girl

5. catching up on old blogs i used to read & finding new ones

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pinpoints of light...{don't mind me...i'm feeling wordy}

this would have been
a perfect night
to drive out to the
middle of nowhere
somewhere
and
lay on your back
in a field
counting the stars…
creating secret stories of lost galaxies…
silent constellations
and space ships with little flickering lights…

i just took the dog
for a walk
and was tempted to lay in the middle of
my street
staring up at the sky
but contented myself
with laying
on the deck instead
in the dark of the streetlights
wearing dress pants and a
dirty plaid work jacket that belongs to my kid…
and wondered
if the night sky was like that
picture of the boat
at my friend’s dad’s house
that everyone could see but me…
no matter how much i
relaxed my eyes…
i was never relaxed enough.

but maybe
if i could relax enough on my back on the deck
and stare at the night sky long enough,
the lines would blur
and i would see beyond the sharp pinpricks
of light

a sliver of a star to put in my pocket for the darker days.
a shard of understanding, of truth…

and then i think…
maybe nobody else saw the boat either.

wordless wednesday....

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tuesday truths

i love fall.

i really do.
the brilliance of the trees,
the crunch under my feet
of leaves and twigs
snapping and crackling…
the smell of wood smoke in the air
and feeling like
after the go-go-go
panicked frenzy to enjoy
EVERY FRIGGING SECOND OF SUMMER
while it’s here,
now
i can start
to slow down….

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now
i start to give myself permission
to climb into bed
with a mountain
of fuzzy blankets,
some hot chocolate,
and a pile of books….

fall is movies and stories and blanket forts,
trail hikes, if i feel like it, and messy hair
(cause my hat will cover it anyway),
vanilla scented candles,
cinnamon apples, brown sugar on toast…
big thick fuzzy socks (but never in bed!)
and pajamas with hoods…

fall is cozy.

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i love summer.
summer is exciting and exhilarating
and on a deadline
and you can’t waste a second
cause if you blink,
it’s gone.

but fall…
fall is kinda like my mom.
Comforting and sweet and
always makes me feel better.

winter, on the other hand…well….
i kinda hate that guy.
Heh.

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grateful in a nutshell....

a random grateful list in which i try not to be too sappy or lame::

• family & friends that are always there for me…even when I seem to push people away

• my kids…i know they fall under family but really, they get a line of their own. There is literally nothing that makes me happier than these two humans. Sometimes it takes my breath away a little bit…how much I love them. I would be lost without them.

• a job that i love

• health

• home (even though it is acting like a temper tantrum-y 2 year old lately)

• books that provide me an escape from real life occasionally

• dirt roads

• microwave popcorn

• geese

• fall leaves

• hot chocolate

• polka dots

• people who make me laugh really hard (even if it is sometimes at my own expense)

• ice cream

• early morning texts/late night phone calls

• homemade (not by me) chocolate chip cookies

• turkey dinner (not made by me)

• new-to-me treadmill

• a working furnace

• naps

• that people are always so sweet & supportive about all of my little “interests” (ie cards; 50 before 50; blog; patreon; etc, etc, etc)

• lemon squares…well…lemon anything really….

• heated blankets

• good conversation & connections

• cold diet coke in a can

• music (that also provides an escape sometimes)

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Happy Thanksgiving…and I am not sure it has to be said
but I am seriously grateful for every person that stops by this
little space in the internetsphere to read my ramblings…so…yeah..you!! :)