that time i actually left the island...for another island...

for years
i have been saying
i am going to go back
to cabot trail.

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when we were kids
cabot trail was the family vacation
for many years…
4 kids (sometimes more)
2 adults (sometimes more)
jammed in the back of a van
with no windows
and no seatbelts
(sounds more like an abduction, i know
but i like to flair on the side of the dramatic…heehee).

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this year, i did it
with the help of my brother and his sweet girlfriend
who let me tag along
with two of the teenage kids
and it was so much fun…
(plus i had my own window AND a seatbelt!)

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we had to do a pretty quick trip
but it was so fall and pretty and
was also a great time to spend some concentrated
time with family.

i can’t wait to go again.

(also…one more thing off my 50-in-50 list!)

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whatcha readin'? 2020 {book 16::goal 30}

reading this book
reminded me of being
19…20…21

it reminded me
of the perfect simplicity
of spending my days off
in used bookstores
and back alley record stores
looking at the beloved discards
of someone else’s life
for the next new thing
in mine.

it reminded me of straight black bobbed hair
blood red lipstick
black leather jackets
and a red plaid pj top
permanently tied around my waist..
baby doll dresses,
docs,
baggy overalls over teeny tiny t shirts…

i loved this book.
it was clever and sweet and frustrating and funny
and unbearably sad.

(and then I watched the movie
but
as expected
it did not measure up)

5 ♥’s out of 5 ♥♥♥♥♥’s
NEXT UP:: ONE DAY - DAVID NICHOLLS

half a century...&...well...this is one where i ramble...but...with excitement & purpose...kinda :)

the honest truth
is
i don’t really plan on
aging gracefully….
ever.

i am going down
with a fight.

i will not be contained
or constrained by ideas of
what “women my age”
should say or
do or
listen to
or wear.
(and small slightly sad side note, these ideas often seem
to be enforced and monitored
by other women…which blows my mind…
but that’s a whole other post, hahaha)

well…i say….
eff that.

i plan to deepen my smile lines
by laughing as much as possible
and accenting my silver hair
with shocking pops of purple
or maybe even pink, if i want…
or maybe, i’ll just let it go totally gray….
the only limit is what will make
me happy…cause….

all i want
in life
is to be happy…
there are always going to be bills,
sickness, sadness, stress…
you can’t avoid those things
but i am
choosing
not to let them dictate
my second half of
the century.

i am the author of that story.

and all i really want is
adventure and laughter,
self awareness,
giggles and good food,
time spent with friends
and family,
time to create and explore,
try new things (except food…haha…let’s not get crazy)
and fucking embrace. my. life.

i want to be excited by ideas
and peoples and places…
every day….even in the mundane….

i want to live my life like a friday adventure
with the music loud
and the windows rolled down
and my hair blowing in my eyes…
and to sometimes throw the map away
and just follow wherever
the road goes.

age is a number.
it’s not a box. or a law. or a rule.
i am not upset at being 50.
i am excited.
i am aware of but not ashamed of my
slower metabolism, my wrinkles,
my slightly sagging neck, my weird
always-showing-gray roots hair…
but
i am healthy. i have amazing friends and family.
i live on an island that i never get tired exploring.
i love my job, my silly little 2009 civic,
my falling apart at the seams orange house….
i love my life.

i am happy. :)
i am happy being me…whatever version of me
that is today…tomorrow…or years from now…

life really is short…live it. love it.
and let go of the fear
of what other people think…
chances are
what they think has more to do
with them,
than with you….
oh!!! and make sure to eat the ice cream
before it melts!
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

“Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.”
WALT DISNEY

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friday i'm in love....

♥ with dashing out the door at the end of the day, camera in hand,
to catch the last rays of light on a pretty dirt road

♥ with how people send me messages telling me “you need to try this dirt road”
or tag me in things related to smurfs, sesame street, toys for sale, happy meals…

♥ with this song….i am officially obsessed

♥ blog posts like this

♥ second season of this show

♥ a lunch-on-the-deck visit with a best friend

♥ my new fitbit clockface…his spidey-sense tingles less as the battery dies!

♥ winding dirt roads that lead to sunlit surprises…

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♥ with knowing that my kid will always check my car for me…
while also accenting it with stickers and plates… :)

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the 50 before 50 shift....

So.
A long time ago,
I talked about the 50 before 50 list.

And I did a few things off of it…
some of them on purpose,
some totally by happy accident.

And then I woke up one morning
and realized
I turn 50
NEXT WEEK.

Like.
NEXT week.
Like.
TUESDAY.

So
unless
I get a tattoo
and go skydiving
over the weekend
while camping
alone
and with someone else
in Cabot trail
and stop off to give blood
on my way to
play badminton
and somehow
get someone to drive me
in a racecar or on the back of
motorcycle
to paintball after we have done
the zipline
that must be right next
to the rollercoaster…
then maybe I will have hit
my goal weight
from all that activity
and i can celebrate
by baking an effing apple pie
SERIOUSLY WHO MADE THIS LIST.

Heeheehee.

So I have decided to switch it to
the 50 - IN - 50 list.
(I’m old. I can change things to suit myself….
it’s my prerogative, Bobby)

And I am all fired up again
to get things DONE this time.

Feel free to join in the fun…
:)

I am going to see if I can pin the list
to the top of my page…you know,
for accountability…
and my frazzled memory.