a saturday in february

it is a sunshiney but brisk saturday morning
and the house is so quiet
sleepover kids out cold on the couches
16 watching movies in her room
the sun is streaming in the windows
making me want to grab my camera,
my pen, some paint, something, something,
something to document how i feel at this very second.

and i am aware of the many things running through my head
i am trying to take note of the things
that me feel excited, that make me feel fresh and invigorated
and inspired
so that i can use them as a jumping point for what i want
2012 to look like for me.

i'm still grappling with what my word for this year should be.

2011 i didn't choose a word, i think i was just trying to get through the year...
2010 was play::expand
2009 was dare...and this was one of my biggest years for creativity...it was the year
i started really taking pictures, had an art show, shot my first wedding, created a website,
baked an apple pie...:)
2008 was focus...because i knew there were things i wanted, things i needed to be
doing to be happier...i just had to find my focus.

but this year?
i think this year is
i thought about yes, i thought about jump
but leap feels right to me.
in a way, i have rested the past two years....yes, i was creative
and i did a lot of weddings and family sessions and that kind of thing
but i played it safe....i did what i already knew how to do...
i did what had worked for me in the past.

but this year...i want to leap.
i want to push myself,
SHOVE myself out of the comfort-zone-nest i have gotten so familiar with

so i said yes to the new job...and i said yes to joining the gym although it terrifies me...
and yes...maybe we should think about building a house on our back lot and selling it...yes...
and see what happens.