happy heart day...

i have mixed feelings
about valentine's day.

on one hand...i don't really care.
it's a fun idea,
it's all right as long as you don't set yourself up for disappointment
with big expectations...

on another hand,
it grates on my nerves...
how does it end up making so many people feel rotten about themselves,
what kind of a "love" day is that...
it's competitive...
facebook is full of flowers and gifts and
and so many other people not posting
wondering why aren't i loved
like that.

it's too up and down.
why am i comparing myself, my relationship
to anyone else's.
i am happy.
he is happy.
18-almost-19 years worth of happy
what more do i need?

the fact that he took 13 out this morning and
bought him sneakers cause his were soaked
and got him a haircut...
the way he warms up my side of the bed for me...
the time he spent listening to my vents and rants tonight
AND watched dr phil with me...

those are the things that matter in the end.

not the things that the media and the laws of consumerism say
we should buy to "prove" that we love each other.

{this is totally not the post i planned on writing when i sat down here
but it's what came out and i'm sticking to it.}

happy heart day!
<3 br="">