My brain feels a little
surprised every time I realize
how far we are through
January.

To be honest,
January is not my worst
winter month.

February is.

In January, I am still on a
sugar high from Christmas
(literally and figuratively)
& I bounce straight from that
to looking back at the past year
in great depth
rereading journals, my social media,
what did I draw, take photos of,
eat, where did I go, who did I spend my time with…
was I happy? What would I change?

And then charge full steam ahead into
lists and research and ideas and planning
and reading and video watching and
making plans and blueprints and manifestos.

So January flies by.

But by February, I am starting to lose steam.
My own excitement for self care
and looking after myself
has exhausted me.
Ironic, I know.

So anywayyyyyy….
If you know me, you know I pick a word
for the year every year.
Last year was glee
and honestly, it worked out ok.
I did a hell of a lot of things
that made me clap my hand in glee
(but have also come to the realization
that I sort of hate that word…it’s cringey).
but the sentiment was right.

This year’s word
is focus….
which I actually looked back and
I have used this word before (2008)…
and interestingly enough
it was when I started to get into photography
(get it…focus…heh)
and that year realllllllllly panned out for me. :)

But this time
focus is literally about
pulling myself out of this
spinning tires rut I have been in
for the last couple of years…
I have to stop just making lists
and plans and gathering ideas.

It’s time to put things into action.
It’s time to focus.