poetry thursday

The Taxi

When I go away from you
The world beats dead
Like a slackened drum.
I call out for you against the jutted stars
And shout into the ridges of the wind.
Streets coming fast,
One after the other,
Wedge you away from me,
And the lamps of the city prick my eyes
So that I can no longer see your face.
Why should I leave you,
To wound myself upon the sharp edges of the night?

From Sword Blades and Poppy Seeds By Amy Lowell

when i was in university
and a bit of an alcoholic
and on a little bit of a downward spiral
i copied poetry that
spoke to me
into a special book
reserved
for just that...
this is one of those poems.

it is interesting to me now
to look back
and wonder
"where was i at
when this appealed to me?
what was happening in my life?
who
was
i?"

in comparison
to
who
i am now.

caution: expletitives and not-my-original-idea ahead

so.

life returns to normal.

my sister in law
is alot like me.
i met her before my brother did.
we worked at the same bookstore
and very quickly learned that
we were alot alike
despite the difference in age...
(she is younger than me)

we read the same books
and get excited over pens, stickers and magazines
in the same geeky way...
we share a healthy self-deprecating sense of humor
as well as a scalding capability of sarcasm...
we see things the same way.
we had the same work ethic, the same views on
marriage and life and responsibility.
we both love my brother
(albeit, in two completely different ways, heehee)

so, in honor of my funny, sweet, odd-like-me sister-in-law's
birthday, which is coming up this very weekend
i made her this:
(disclaimer: this is not my idea..i wish it had been my idea,
i think the woman who came up with this is pure genius,
but alas, it is not my idea)

how funny is that?
the pink, the cross-stitch, the flowers...the bad words
heeheeheehee
i am loving this...

i also made her this
and it ain't no monkey,
but cute nonetheless...
the pattern came from this book



oh...it's a cell phone holder, by the way...
heehee
:)

chugga chugga choo choo.

i have had an
emotional
train-wreck of a weekend.

we don't fight
often
but when we do,
its for good reason
and its not pretty.

things are good now,
better than good...
they are freshly clean and laundered.
they have been viciously aired out
and hung to dry...

and now,
they are sweet smelling and
almost like new again...
they are familiar
in the sense that i remember
what it was about them i loved,
but new, too,
changed a bit
as experience
can change both of you
and your dynamics.

there are certain
images
that will say forever in my mind,
popping up unexpected
from time to time...

i used to use the word
gutwrenching
to describe how i felt about him
when we met
eleven years ago...
and that was how i felt
standing behind our house
in the rain
and wind
as he dissolved
into sobs...

gut-wrenching.

that's what wednesday was for me.

a tease,
a snippet,
a glimpse
into what my life could be like
if i say yes and take this lower paying job.

and it was very tempting.

i only had the one child that i would be taking
if i choose to do this.
we actually got to leave the house and go out walking
on a beautiful day, which i can't do with the other children i have
because, unfortunately, i don't have a quadruple stroller
and they are far too young to walk on their own
without holding my hand
(of which, i only have two).

we had a great morning and then he napped,
so sweet and soundly.
his occupational therapist came to meet me
in the afternoon and it went perfectly.
she was impressed with what we had done so far,
and the environment and with what she called my
"calm, soothing, yet firm voice" teehee.

my husband and i had a good talk about this
(after the not-so-good talk in which i was
teetering on the edge of breaking-down-bawling
because i soooo do not want to do the other job anymore)
and he said i had his support and that if i had to
take some shifts at the bookstore i used to work at,
maybe that would be something we could look at, too.

so i called the bookstore manager
(coincidentally, my sister-in-law)
and she said that i made her day
and she would definately call me once they had a
position free up.

and then,
i had good news regarding the lower paying job...
the mom and her assigned support person are
trying to get me paid more...

all in all, a wonderful glimpse...
i want to stay here...
i don't want to go back to
chaos and kid-screaming and stress.

while at the dollar store,
i found these.





and then,
when we got home from the park,
i found these flowers
in my front yard...
i love surprises
:)



and edited to add
for poetry thursday
and a nod to michelle's past post
regarding song lyrics
and poetry...
this is a poem written by a singer:

There was preserved
in her
the fresh miracle
of
surprise.

Jim Morrison

i apologize in advance if this was not
the exact spacing...i had copied into a book
of "favorite poems" back in university
and don't know if i took my own liberties
with the spacing or not...