spur-of-the-moment-poetry-thursday...

was not sure of what to write.
faltering and slow...
analyzing and consumed
with wanting to put my best foot forward...
when suddenly inspired
by a song...

caramel by suzanne vega

today
i am me
and
happy
to be...
my favorite capris,
tip-toe-dancing across the floor
to your caramel coated
siren song...
limber and quick,
silently strong,
sultry and sexy
(not caring if i
ever
belong.)
giddy with the melody
that is
me.

more poetry thursday here

and because i am such a keener
this week (heh) my
attempt at sunday scribbling
can be found here....

heh. she got me.

unbeknowst to me,
my sign in name on MSN
has been
"i wish i was as kool as my (sigh) daughter"

heh.

what she doesn't know
is that i do wish i was as cool as her
when i was her age...

i bet i would of have had alot more friends...
:)

i'll have a poetry thursday/grateful friday combo, please...

first of all,
a generous helping of poetry thursday...

this will take you to
the first poem
i ever fell in love with.

i was in grade 5 or 6.
this poem was in one of texts
that we didn't have to read
but being the geek that i am proud to be,
i usually read all of my literature-type texts
from cover to cover...
heh.

i used to sit on the floor in the upstairs hallway
and read this out loud
in the most dramatic of voices.
in my head, i still read it the same way.

and finally, some gratitude for a
sweet dessert--

• a new mary engelbreit magazine waiting to be read
• my mom's confirmation that what i wrote in her
  mother's day card did indeed make her cry a little
  (mission accomplished, heh heh)*
• canned diet coke
• the hippies won!!!!
• mojo lost (heeheeheehee)(i despised mojo)
• this version of somewhere over the rainbow,
  thank you, liz, for sharing this :)
• freezie season!!!
• the freedom to stay home guilt-free which i
  have already gushed about
• memoirs of a geisha, which i watched last night
  and loved...i could not stop staring at the main
  character, she was that beautiful.
  

*just to clarify...i love my mom...i didn't make her cry
out of spite...just out of sweetness...heehee

i have a crush.

this is going to sound
so
completely odd
and bizarre
and silly
but
anyway...
whatever...
i've never let that hinder me before.

i am totally crushing
on my life right now.

i really don't know how else to explain it.

all day, the chorus in my head,
is singing "i love my life i love my life
i love my life (big finish!) RIGHTNOWWWWWWW".

heh.
sounds pretty lame actually
now that i type it out...

see.
here's the thing.
over the last three years
i went from doing a job i really liked,
to sort-of liked,
to kinda-of sort-of liked,
to considering-sawing-at-my-wrists-with-
a-dull-and-rusty-butter-knife as a funner way
to spend my day.

and now.
now i look after one child who may have been
diagnosed with autism but he is the sweetest,
kindest, funniest, smartest, cutest little guy...
and it helps that i have had him in my care
for the whole three years...
other children have come and gone and come again,
but this little guy has been ever present in my home
and in my family....

so yeah...
one child instead of the plethora of preschoolers i did have.
and my husband thinks
(and i would be commit-able if i did not agree)
that since he is starting a new business
which has the potential to be very lucrative,
that we will forego the retail job that would take
up 3 nights a week and cause much stress for little money.

instead, he said, "i'll get the stuff and transform the
upstairs of my workshop into one for you...with an
air-nailer, chopsaw (heh, i foresee alot of painfully funny
stories arising from that)(get it..painfully funny), huge desks,

lots of storage,
and you can make things to sell if thats what you
really want to do"

do i? do i? heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee DO I!!!!
i am so excited.
i can't even begin to tell you how excited i am.

i have so much time now
and so little stress...
(which works much better as an equation...
backwards, it was not so much fun)

i have started putting in a huge garden.
i am going to scrape the paint off the house
so we can stain it "navajo red" which
i seen on someone elses house and fell so much
in love with it that i had to go knock on their door
and request the name of the color...
heehee.
i am literally vibrating with ideas and excitement
and anticipation...
woohoo...
bring the summer on, i'm ready!

oh...and one more thing...regarding the amazing race...
go hippies!!!!!!!!!!

oh...and yeah...sunday scribbles...its over here...
and here...

time out.

i have been having a hard time
getting to the computer lately.

between putting in a garden
and starting a new "career"
and wondering if i should go back to the bookstore
(is the money going to be worth the tension
and hassle it will cause to work out of the home
on weeknights and saturdays? i'm not so sure anymore)

between finishing secret life of bees
(and loving it!) and starting the english patient...
between not wanting to miss the winding down
(or up depending how you look at it)
of the apprentice and the amazing race...

between mothers day and new baby gifts,
a broken down jeep
and walks to the park on beautifully sunny days...

between two sick kids...one fevered, the other
coughing all night...
and trying the "gym" curves for the first time
and trying to fit in some pilates videos at home...

i have had a hard time getting here...
please bear with me.