december views {1}




the first day of december views...
my third year playing along...
i look forward to this chance for silence
after a month of constant-coming-to-the-page.

today i feel stormy and sad
and dark and restless...

a wake today, a funeral tomorrow
a family disagreement getting
blown a little out of control...
looking back to see what i posted
for december views last year
and coming across this...
as i practice the readings for
tomorrow's funeral
i am suddenly brought back to
him and how i forget sometimes
that he won't be there tomorrow...
he's not there to make the
inappropriate jokes
and take the tension away
with his raspy laugh and his booming voice.

and it makes me remember that
this is what life is about...
putting ourselves out there,
wearing our hearts on our sleeve...
even though the danger of loss is great
the reward of knowing someone is greater...
of knowing their quirks, loving their oddities,
accepting their faults,
forgiving their good intentions when
they collide with your own.

day twenty-eight...and i've fallen behind...


well...i almost made it to the full month
for posting everyday for the month of
november...

but, sadly, my great aunt passed away
on saturday...
we knew that it was coming,
that it was only a matter of time...
but it was still hard
especially for her "little" sister...
who is 83...

they were very close...
and it was heartbreaking to watch her
stroking her cheek
and saying "are you going to open your eyes...
can you smile for me...
look who's here to see you...
open your eyes..."

so sad.

but life marches on
even though sometimes
it feels like it is stomping over
your heart
with every measured
step forward.

day twenty-seven...searching for words.


i am searching for words tonight...
i am tired
and lonely in a house
full of people...
distracted and
unable to settle down
with one activity for very long...
i get like this in the evenings...
i sit at the computer
aimlessly searching
and surfing...
i sit at my studio desk
but nothing inspires me for long...
i really just want to be curled up
in bed with a book and some hot
cocoa
and now as i type that,
i've made a decision...
book and hot chocolate sounds
very, very good on this
dark and damp night.

thanks, nablopomo,
for helping me to make it.

day twenty-five....i digress

with a story...
(or the beginnings of one..)

Imogene Green liked the smell of fresh cut grass.
She did not like her name. Her father (who was,
as her mother said, a character) named her Imogene.
He said he always liked that name but Imogene
suspected that it was because it would rhyme
easily with other words. Her father, the character,
was constantly rhyming things...including her name.
And not usually was it ever Imogene Green, the
beauty queen. More often than not, it was Imogene
Green, the lean green bean and Imogene the mad green
machine. You get the picture.

Apart from her name, Imogene hated her arms. They
were long and skinny and bent at opposite angles. Adults
said she was double jointed but the other kids just said
she was weird.

Despite all of this, Imogene was happy. She didn`t
have a lot of friends...well...she didn`t really have any,
but she had the imagination the size of a house, the size
of a house with a swimming pool. Most of the other kids
in her grade 5 class only had an imagination the size of
a shed...and a tool shed at that! If they had any at all,
which Imogene doubted. Especially some of the other
girls. Especially some of the meaner girls. Especially
one girl in particular who was extremely mean and
not very nice and possessed no imagination at all...
Imogene was sure of this. Mary Beth Butler could
not possibly have a speck of imagination. Even her
name was boring. (And also, Mary Beth was incredibly
mean to Imogene.)

Imogene didn`t mind school but she certainly didn`t
love it. She hated math and how all of those numbers
on the page just would not stay still for her. Instead
they wriggled and danced and sometimes, they just
simply squiggled off the page and flew out the window.
Imogene would watch them, the 8 landing in a tree,
the pair of 5`s darting in the sky at each other playing
some sort of air tag. A group of numbers would get
together and fly like geese in a V formation which Imogene
thought was very clever--numbers pretending to be letters.
Pretending to be something else...now that was
something Imogene could easily understand.