This Life::Project 365

So.

I have not completely hammered out my resolutions yet
but I have a vague idea of what they will look like.
I do know that I want to take more photos this year,
more photos of my own life, my family, my kids, my world...
I feel like I have been caught up in a vortex of weddings
and capturing other people's families...
which then makes me NOT want to pick up the camera on my own time.

that has to change.
I know I said it before but this time, I really, really mean it.
I want to find that escape that a camera used to give me.

A huge part of why I was reluctant before to snap photos
on my own time was the hassle of bringing out my dslr...
and the fear of what if something happens to it...
I need it for the weddings already booked...

but now that I have my new phone
(which is a Note 2 and I love it even if it is only 8 mp)
(and I am totally not being sponsored to say that, hahaha)
and a 32 gig sd card
I am ready to try this again.
I am not going to overthink it.
I am just going to use my phone and various camera apps
to make sure I find a moment in my day to
take at least one photo to capture
#ThisLife
my life....my moments...my family...my world.

you can check out my facebook page or flickr page or instagram to see more, if you want...
here's hoping i can keep the momentum up!
:)

hello, 2014! please be my friend...

happy new years!
2014 has arrived
with snow and sunshine
and little bits of frozen breath
in every breath you take.

 

christmas has passed us in a flurry of 

ripped wrapping paper

and meat pies...

the highlights included shopping with both my parents,

which i never, ever have done before...

my dad avoids the stores like the plague

but this year, he came along and it. was. so. much. fun.

you have to know my dad to really get it,

but he is easily amused, entertained, bewildered and intrigued

by

everything...

and he is loud...and short...and full of energy...and adorable

and always, always happy.

 

and now, 2014 is upon us.
usually, i have to think about my word
and contemplate and consider and weigh the options
but not this year.
this year
it was apparent
it was obvious...
this year, my word chose me.
i need to find balance in my life.
i need to find a way to make all the little pieces
fit together in some sort of cohesive fashion.

so,
welcome 2014...
i look forward to getting to know you better
and i hope that you have good things in store for us all!

and so this was christmas...

come and gone in the blink of an eye...

things that i think will stand out for me
as marking Christmas 2013 as the year that:

• my mom got a smart phone...i LOVE being able to text my mom now...and trying to convince my dad that he should be next.  i am such a pusher.  
• i was blown away by how much easier a larger monitor is going to make editing for me.  I never realized that having a wider monitor would work SO much better for lightroom...and i am loving it.  Especially since i had been feeling a little down about editing...overwhelmed and tired and stressed...but having a new toy definitely perked me up!
• i realized that although Christmas will change every year that the kids get older, it doesn't have to be upsetting.  Coming to terms with the fact that yes, they both left to go to friend's and boyfriend's after we got home on Christmas day and suddenly the house was quiet and still...and yes, I had to wake them up Christmas morning instead of them waking us...but there were other things to hold onto.  The fact that they bring up the traditions we have always done (never even intending to make them traditions), but they have become unintentional traditions to them.  To watch the ease in which they navigate the various family homes we visited, so comfortable and adult...drinking coffee, making small talk...i stare in wonder....when did this happen?  and inside, i smile.
• i committed to just letting Christmas happen.  We didn't have much money (we never do, heh) but less this year with my husband not working because of the accident and some additional bills...but we still got by (as we always do) and i just let go of any expectations...and it was good.  It was better than good.
• that Dee Snider favorited a tweet that I shared about 18 who has been a crazy-obsessed fan of his since she was about 5...and how 18 just about cried when i showed her...:)

And now, we are on to January...
on to all of my favorite things...
from here on out the days get longer instead of shorter...
new year's resolutions....
no photo sessions or weddings for a little bit,
a chance to recharge my very-burnt-out batteries....
i am looking forward to planning and making lists
and maybe a little scribbling...
to taking some photos for me again...
to trying a new recipe, to getting back to the gym

to finding some much needed BALANCE in my life.
i did not have to think about my word for 2014
at all.
it hit me in the face like a hammer.
it has been screaming in my ear.
it has been following me, stalking me, nudging me, poking me...
because
i
really.
really.
really.
need it.

and i feel good about it....i know how desperately i need it...
i didn't choose it...
it chose me.

happy holidays to you and yours!
bring on 2014, I am ready!

today

heating pad against my back
pug playing at my feet
fuzzy slippers
pajamas at 3 pm
photo editing
hugs
giggles coming from 18
winter sun streaming through windows

this moment.

i want to remember

i want to remember how, last night, unexpectedly, 18 came home early
from her boyfriend's house
and just hung out with us...
and how, even though there was no special occasion
no holiday
no big meal, no birthdays, no celebration...
it was just one of the best nights i have had
in a long, long time.

we talked about so many things
dr phil, Normandy, storm troopers,
whether cats have knees or elbows,
conspiracy theories, jack black,
trailer park boys and we
laughed...
a lot.

and then, even after 18 went to bed,
14 stayed on the couch with me
and didn't pull away,
even when I ran my hand through his messy hair.

i want to remember that this is all it needs to be.
it doesn't always need to be pinterest pretty
or scheduled in advance, no money needs to be spent,
your hair does not even have to be brushed...
leave the camera in it's case, video tape this moment in your mind...
just show up and listen...
let yourself sit and laugh for a little bit...
forget about the dishes, about the work waiting for you...
it will wait.
they won't.

i want to remember S coming over and whispering in my ear
"it's so nice to have them both home".

inspired {as always} by the amazing liz elayne....