It’s been a little weird
over here in the
big orange house.
my boy is in Yellowknife
and now my girl has been
out of the house most of the time
as well (not officially moved out
but definitely hasn’t been home 😆).
It’s good but it’s also
strange…in my 55 years on this planet,
I have only lived alone
once
and that was for a very short
period of time…like…maybe a month…
or less…
It’s been weird. Not awful.
But weird.
(and I mean really…
how alone can I actually be
with 1 dog and 3 cats…)
I took the Christmas tree down.
This led to a very big purge and
decluttering of the big orange house
which was way overdue.
It’s not even close to being done yet
but I feel good about the progress.
Like, really good.
But what I didn’t expect
were the emotions that came with it…
I get emotionally attached to objects
either because of memory/sentiment
OR because I also assign feelings to
inanimate objects…I don’t know why.
I just do.
To be sorting through at least 20 years
of stuff…photos, invoices, scorecards from board games,
cards from ex, cards to my ex,
the kid’s artwork and schoolwork and that
little pair of shorts that my boy loved,
the adorable coat my girl hated but was so cute in…
photos and write ups that I did for my dad’s 60th birthday,
letters and journals and poems written on
napkins and lyrics scribbled on bills…
you get the idea.
It was hard.
Like gut wrenching punched me in the heart hard
at times…
But I’m coming on to the other side of it now.
And yesterday was the first glorious day of spring.
And there were purple & yellow teeny tiny flowers
in my front yard…and it was nice enough out
to read on the deck…and…
I feel lighter.
I feel like fresh air and good sleep,
ruddy cheeks and messy hair.
I feel like it was a hell of storm
but I’m still standing on the other side of it
and I am ready for whatever comes next.
*not what I came here to write but you must
be used to that by now.
