friday i'm in love...#3 of 2026 (the 🩷 hearty-heart-to-heart 🩷 issue)

the truth is
i might love valentine’s day
more
now that i am
alone
than when i was
with someone.

there is no
wondering if they will remember
causing me to
question
whether or not
i am worthy of being remembered,
or reminding me of a time
when
they always remembered.

there is no expectation,
no disappointment,
no pretending that everything
is ok just the way it is,
that it’s just another day,
a made up consumerism holiday
(when really,
i think we all know
that i love made up consumerism holidays…
i love celebrations and special days
and themes and colors
and a reason to use my fancy stickers
or dress all in pink
or put some food coloring in my ginger ale
and call it “special valentine’s bubbliness”)
(surely you know this about me by now.)

so the heart shaped point i am trying to make
is that, at first, i thought
this day might make me sad
but it doesn’t.
i look forward to it now….
i plan out it out as a day, a weekend, a month
of self-love for myself.

whatever i want.

movies by myself? sure!
a hike in the silent woods, just me and the birds
(and hopefully no coyotes)? check!
should i buy myself some fancy
*insert whatever is the current obsession here
(shampoo? body wash? plants? stickers? markers? candy?)
yes, yes and yes.

and here are some other things i am loving:

🩷 my valentine’s tree….it just makes me happy
🩷 a sleep over with one friend this week and supper date with 2 others another night! *also, shipyard was very good!
🍿 i love emily henry’s books so was really excited to watch
"the people we meet on vacation''
it was good…i debated adding it here as i don’t feel i LOVED it
but i still enjoyed it.
🩷 i found the sweetest surprise in my mailbox from a friend…
a handwritten letter!!! with little surprises!! including
a muppet sticker!!!! (& she also loves muppets so
i knowwwww how hard it is to give up stickers of
something you love…) and the letter was so
thoughtful it made me cry but also
realize how much i appreciate connecting with people…
you just never know what will resonate with someone else.

this is way longer than i meant it to be
but honestly,
i just had a lot of good things i really loved lately….
i couldn’t fit it all
into one post!!

so be prepared for more to come.
happy heart day…i hope cupid finds you
and gives you
whatever it is
that makes you smile.
(and if that’s pink ginger ale
in a fancy glass, that’s ok…
we listen and we don’t judge. heh)

*and also just to say that i am 
also painfully aware
of the incredible sadness 
happening in the world
right now…💔 
so hard to wrap your head 
(or heart) around.

friday i'm in love

how can i not love
this sweet kitty-cat face
with his big eyes
and tubby-chubby-ness….
even if he does drive me
absolutely bonkers
if i am trying to do yoga
or take a nap.

he might be the biggest
out of the 3 but he is also the
neediest. :)

OTHER THINGS I AM LOVING:

🌞dandelions popping up little bits of sunshine in my yard.

🌞 anything made with cereal milk makes me happy

🌞 sigh…this made me want a time machine

and I haven’t been feeling great lately
(that’s not the part I love…haha)
but I have had to use Maple and I have to
say it worked so much better than before…
I got the same dr each time and it was incredibly fast.
Now hopefully, the meds kick in and know this
sinus infection out of my head.
The sun is shining, I have no time to be sick.
:)

turning the corner....

I feel like I am starting to
turn the corner
of that which is known
in my head
"as still frigging winter".

Second by second,
minute by minute,
the days get longer…
the light lingers
and my energy increases.

I have been pushing myself
to keep showing up…
to get outside for walks
and don’t pay attention to the wind chill,
to take photos,
to draw little characters
and call it a project.
To knit and doodle,
to nap when I need to,
to spend lots of time
reading in the swing.

Some things that I have been trying
that I like to think are helping but
it’s still pretty early:

I got a little pop up tent sauna
and I have been loving it.

Started using a light lamp in the mornings
and also got this cute little
rainbow pomodoro timer
and I know it’s all a trick of my brain
or rather maybe
I am tricking my brain
(shhhh…don’t tell)…
BUT I HAVE BEEN SO PRODUCTIVE.

so I’ll take it…
whatever the reason,
(his heart or his shoes)
heh. sorry, my brain is glitchy
and throws out random
grinch lines.

I hope you are warm and cozy,
happy and full.
Here’s a random photo of Timmy…
just because he is so damn adorable.

50 in 50 - 2024 update!

*Disclaimer - this post has nothing to do with a cat
but look how cute he is…how could I not post that?

Years ago,
I started my plan to do
50 things BEFORE I turned 50…
& then 50 came.

So I changed it to
50 things in my 50th year…
but then
50 turned to 51.

So then I adapted and reacted
& decided to make it
50 in my 50’s
and that feels doable.

Well, I got to cross
try rock climbing
off my list!
I am not going to lie…when I signed up
for this class, I did not realize
it would be as HARD as it was…
I struggled. I fought. I felt like I was never
going to get to the top of even ONE of
those damn walls, even though everyone
else in the course seemed to be scurrying up
there hardly breaking a sweat.

Then finally, on the last night of the course,
I MADE IT TO THE TOP.
And yep, it was probably an easy wall
but that doesn’t matter. I did it. I finally did it. :)

This has probably the
most active I have ever been
in the fall…I have joined a gym,
tried pickleball, am going to the sauna,
hitting my steps.

I am also trying NOT to
focus on the extra weight I am carrying
in the rock climbing photo.
I am trying to focus on the feeling of
sheer effing accomplishment I felt at that moment.
And how I want to keep that momentum going.

So today I crossed this one off my 50 in 50 list.
And wondered
what can I cross off next!?! :)

Suggestions?

mornings like this...

I love mornings
like this…
sunny and bright
(even if it is a little cool)…
no plans, no itinerary, no agenda.

The house is quiet
and still,
the animals all napping
in various makeshift beds
of their choosing.

I am puttering around
with a pen and a paper pad
full of lists
and ideas
big big plans
and little itty bitty doodles…

I am drinking coffee
and drawing blimps…

RUNNING THROUGH MY HEAD:
buying a smaller mattress for car camping
getting pugsley a new leash for short walks maybe
watching old movies for a bit
plant fertilizer
a rain barrel
what to name the bathroom gang of plants
happy that the dandelions all popped back up after I cut the grass
how much I love the word slather
and
how I really want to get back to this page again.

Just for me, if nothing else….
I like to look back and see
where I have been,
who I once was…
how far things have come and gone.
♥