As I was writing this
I realized
the last time I did a
friday i’m in love
my dad was still here.

I am trying to get back to
normal (whatever construct
normal actually is)
but sometimes
something so simple
as a friday i’m in love post
can set me back a moment or two
and almost make me think
I can’t do it.
That it feels wrong to be happy
and sad…but two things can be true.
Two things can be true.

I’m trying not to write about this
all the time but no matter what I
mean
to write, this is what comes out
regardless.

So here I am.
Click-clacking the keyboard.
Letting my emotions fall onto
a blank page because that is
where I feel the most comfortable…

But I chose GLEE as my word
for 2024 so I am pushing myself
to look for the happy moments alongside
the sad….even when I don’t think I can.
especially when I don’t think I can.

friday i’m in love

♥ my girl sent me a video on grief that really resonated with me…the button in a box video…then I came across this one today and the second scenario really felt like how I feel

♥ I am reading this & oh, how I love it SO MUCH. I don’t know why I waited so long to start the 3rd book in the series….but this was a good start to 2024’s reading list

♥ nom-nom-nom. THESE are delicious. I was so happy that I remembered I had bought them one day while I was reading in the car and found them hidden under the seat (unopened, I’m not a complete animal)(but let’s not lie, I still would have eaten them probably). :)

♥ and this. Oh. How I love this!
and not JUST because it has a fancy pen
that lets me do things like this…but
that’s definitely a big part of it. Heehee

Honestly, though, there are so many things I am grateful for.
A phone call from my mom.
Messages from my brothers even if they drive me crazy.
Hearing my girl’s stories after work and seeing how happy she is.
A random conversation with an old friend in the hallway laughing about how I thought aspartame was pronounced a-spart-a-my…like some kind of Greek hero.
A flock of crows overhead on my walk when I realized IT WAS STILL BRIGHT ENOUGH AFTER WORK TO WALK. :)

♥♥♥ I hope you are having a happy friday too. You really should.

Every year,
I choose a word
as my “compass” word
for that whole year.

Some years, it works out very well…
other years, I forget the word
by February.

Last year was cultivate
and I was excited about it…
then life kinda went a different way
for awhile and I had to re-calibrate.
But when I reread this from last year
I think I wasn’t as far off the mark
as I had thought:
”Life is short.
What matters to me right now
are the people in my life…
the experiences we share,
the adventures, the connections…”

This year, I barely had to think about it…
it struck me hard almost right away.
I had thought heal. Or rest.
But then I thought of Dad…
and if I really want a year that would
make me think of him
I want a year full of joy, of delight,
of glee.

So glee is my compass word for 2024.
I want to laugh hard, I want to do things that
excite me and inspire me. I want to
explore and try new things (except food)
and be open to new experiences.

I want to live life
with my arms wide open
and less over thinking…

I want to do things
that give me butterflies
in my belly.

I have a couple of other things
in my brain for the start of 2024:

I am going to do the “75 soft challenge”.

Eat well and only drink on social occasions. (added - track my food)
Train for 45 minutes every day, with one day a week for active recovery.
Drink three liters of water a day.
Read 10 pages of any book a day.

AND I am going to attempt a No Spend January
(and possibly February).
My plan is that I will only spend money on the
things I have to (bills, etc) and on the bare
necessities but no extras.
I honestly have enough self care items
(moisturizers, shampoo, conditioner, candles,
books, art supplies) to last me for YEARS
but I have gotten into the habit
of “treating” myself when I feel
down or stressed….so it’s time to curb that.
And what better time to do than winter?

I am looking forward to 2024.
I hope that you are, too.
♥