sickly...cough, cough, hack, hack.

just getting over 3 weeks of a rotten cold/flu
that snuck up on me
and put me down for the count....
wheezing cough
stuffed up sinuses
incredible cold sweats that left me drenched
and
total
loss
of energy...
no appetite
headache every god-damned day.

but...
the up-side of being sick
is how much you realize
you take feeling good
for granted.

and i am starting to feel better now
and the snow is melting
and the headache is a dull echo
and right now the kids are watching a horror movie
with their dad
all smooshed into one couch
and because i can't watch horror movies
(i can't even listen to them)
i am at the computer with headphones on
and 8tracks blaring
my favorite playlist
getting caught up on email and facebook and pinterest
oh pinterest, how i have missed you...

and i'm happy.
happy to awake and alert at 9 pm
for a change
(even if the kids do try to shush my coughing...heh)

tuesday truths

  • this whole heart palpitation thing is kind of sucking.
  • oddly enough, i am feeling both overwhelmed and underwhelmed lately.
  • i am desperate for spring
  • but at the same time, i hoping madly for the advertised snowstorm tomorrow to be big enough to shut the town down.
  • this is the first time i have done tuesday truths in such point blank form
  • i am not drinking enough water
  • {read:  hardly any water}
  • i have only slept 5 hours the past two nights
  • i need 8 hours of sleep every night.
  • this list has become very random.

spirits of joy

i woke up on a miserable monday morning
to ice cold wind blowing
wind chills of -27
blech.

i am ready for spring.

i didn't have time for a shower.
i barely had time to make a lunch.
but i did have time to check my email
and found out that i had won a spot
in this e-course

yay!

i had stopped by this new-to-me blog
and came across the contest...
and was so excited to get the email this morning
saying i had a spot...

this will be the journal that i use to create a vision book...
the first prompt included choosing a name for your book...
visceral spoke to me as i feel lately i am just skimming along the
surface of my life, partaking in much but focusing on little.

oh....and did i mention i was excited?
soooooo excited!
:)

today

today, i am here.
i am present in this spot...
rooted into my own being.
solid and centered.

yesterday was an extra day off
spent cleaning the house
and catching up on blogs
and drooling over this guy's amazing work.
the lighting, oh, the lighting.
i am starstruck...
{and have to add, that when i flickr-mailed him
a question about lighting, he responded back with
a wealth of information and links and i am always amazed
at how giving other photographers are of information
and techniques....it is so fantastic.}

speaking of lighting...this is another guy who
does some amazing stuff that always makes me
stare at his photos for a long time
trying to figure out the logistics of the lighting...

{it's not hard to tell the days are getting longer...
all i can talk about revolves around photography...
just ask my husband...}

so...now i have decided that i want/need/would love to have:

 but i did pick up this yesterday...
a new external hard drive
so that i can start the "great photo cull" before
the weddings of 2013 start...
:)

and in a bit of a related note, i have finally gotten on board with instagram
and am loving that it allows me to creative
in the moment...
which i need...
i find i get so worried about my "work" camera
that i don't want to use it for every day...
but my cell phone is always handy.
{which leads me to another want...i am very want-y today}

and because i feel like all i have done here is talk about
things i want
here is something that i had...that i loved...
mmmm...



monday morning pages::snippets


a blurb from the writing exercises::
prompt:  flesh

Her hands were getting so old looking.
They were marked with the cracks and creases of someone
who had seen more than their share of time.  And yet, still she remained.

He was gone.  They were gone.  The babies were grown up and 
carried babies of their own.  And yet, still she remained.

 Some days, she just sat on the couch in the pale sunlight
and stared at her own two hands.  At the ring he gave her so long ago,
that day that they stood in the tiny whitewashed church up west, neither his nor
her church, but a church that would marry them nonetheless.  
She wore her sister's wedding gown (that wedding would soon fail but no
one would admit that they knew it at the time) and the priest got her name wrong.
They had no money for flowers but for the bluebells he stole from the 
neighbor's yard that morning.  They were still wet with dew when he pressed
them into her hand.

But still, when he called them man and wife, her heart opened like a thousand suns
bursting out of her chest.  She could barely contain herself, constrain herself, restrain herself
from twirling, from dancing, from kissing him harder than hard in the church of someone else's God
now that he was truly, really and deeply, hers.

 And now he is gone.

 Flesh from flesh, bone from bone.  Memory from memory.  Dustmotes dancing in pale
sunlight and the creases in her hands telling her story after story.  This is how she spent
her days now.

oh...and a new haircut...hello bangs...i have missed you...