tuesday truths...

I have been trying meditation off and on for a couple of years now.
Sometimes, I stick with it for a week or two,
then I slack off and come back to it again later.

I’ve tried Calm and Headspace and
really liked both of them but,
not enough to pay for them…
(the only app I pay for monthly without question
is Google Play because I need my music…)

And then I found Insight Timer
and I am SERIOUSLY loving it.
I haven’t been using it long but
I love that there are so many options
available to you…
no jumping through hoops,
no limited time offers…
just readily available to you.

This morning I did a 10 minute guided practice
by Jonathan Lehmann
that had music (which I love) and affirmations
(which I don’t normally love…)
but I really, really liked this one.

And I especially liked how he talked about the
quote above from Albert Einstein…
that literally set my mood and intention for the day.

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tuesday truths in bullet form...

• walking home after Dorian hurt my heart a little bit…all those trees :(

• ice cream with a mix of warm caramel sauce & warm strawberry sauce in a waffle bowl has been my new obsession

• my feet are cold

• i am feeling a little burnt out. and maybe a little sad. i know i am usually go, go, go but lately…i just feel like i want to sleep, sleep, sleep. maybe it’s the change in season. maybe it’s too much ice cream.

• great lake swimmers are playing at kings playhouse and i can’t wait!

• i need a haircut

• i literally just found my photos from my trip to fundy park…i wanna go back!

• the fact that it’s 7:30 and almost dark out makes me wanna cry a teeny tiny bit. i am not ready! i want more summer.

• and ice cream. i want more ice cream. sigh.

tuesday truths...

i have a bad habit
of hiding
and avoiding
and procrastinating
and pretending
and creating distractions
and diversions
and delusions in my head
that everything is fine
when really
there are things i should be
facing…

i am an ostrich
sometimes
with my head in sand.

(ok. who am i kidding…
i am probably not as tall as an ostrich
and the thought of burying my head
in sand immediately makes feel claustrophobic)

(and now i am wondering if
ostriches even do that…is that a fact?
or did i make that up
somewhere along the line?)

anyway.

todays tuesday truth
is that i am trying to shake myself
out of this habit…
i am trying to make myself
face reality at least
once a day.
do one “grown up thing”
(preferably, one i have been putting off for a long time)
each day.
bills.
laundry.
groceries.
research an oil tank.
the not-so-fun stuff….

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but still allow myself
time every day
to lose myself in a good show
or escape in a book…
to write or draw or paint.

balance.
it’s all about balance.

tuesday truths....the random edition

i went all morning thinking today was Wednesday
it’s not.
it’s Tuesday.
sigh.

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toaster strudels
for supper
is my
new favorite thing.

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my pen bled a little on this card
which made me sad
but the ballerina bunnies?
oh….
they made me incredibly happy!

heeheehee.

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this sunshine just makes me think
of beaches and bare legs,
ice cream sundaes and parades,
birds chirping outside my window,
dirt roads, air shows,
getting lost on hiking trails,
bonfires and music outdoors…
sleeping with the window open,
driving with nowhere to go
and no one expecting me…
sigh.

tuesday truths...trying something new...

It’s scary to try something new.

But it’s also exciting and intriguing,
fun and interesting to push yourself out of your comfort zone
just an eensy-teensy bit.

I have been doing a lot of
new things lately
that have scared me…
but in a good way….mostly… :)

Change scares me.
I fight it, tooth and nail.
I always, always have.

But I think I am getting a little better.
(I don’t cry nearly as much, heehee).

In the spirit of “trying something new”
I thought I might push myself COMPLETELY out of my comfort zone
and try something that I have been considering for a long time
but did not have the guts to try…
I am also just coming off a 5 day cold so
it’s possible the effects of the children’s cough and cold
will have worn off by morning
and I will have totally chickened out on this whole idea.

But…for now…

I have created a Patreon account.

If you are not familiar with Patreon,
it is a way that I can share more of my photography and artwork
and maybe push my creative side a little harder
by forcing myself to be more accountable.
Patreon allows me to offer perks and treats for
anyone that chooses to follow me on that medium…
which means, I am forcing myself to focus
and stop spinning my wheels in 22 different directions.

If you check it out, please feel free to let me know
if there are things that you would have liked to have
seen offered as treats/thank yous…
and there is no pressure to sign up there.
This is really just an experiment, a new venture,
you never know til you try…
so today,
I try.

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