today has been...

June 13, 2016 Arlene Giddings

a shoebox
of notes passed on buses
and through brothers on bikes
when we weren't allowed to
see each other
or use the phone...
zellers moonwalk pin 1986....
records on wheels bag
(note the billy idol)
purple feathers
straight from the lobster carnival...

today has been
trying to remember the thing
we used to say
from the max headroom commercial...
something tells me it goes
"but let's not let popular opinion sway us,
let's try coke-coke-coke again"
but i can't find it anywhere
and i wonder if maybe we made it up
and thought it was so funny
we repeated it for years
with no one getting it
but us
(which likely made it all that much funnier).

today is always a little bittersweet...
shared memories that only i remember now.
but i hold on to them tight
in a shoebox
in my heart...
and when i pull them out,
they make me smile now instead of just sad...
so many good stories...
so many things i don't want to forget
and i'm sorry that i keep talking about her
but the truth is...
i don't want to ever stop.
she was here.

she was here.
♥♥♥♥♥

broken bones, baby bumps & sweet reunions...

June 12, 2016 Arlene Giddings

the sunset outside the hospital (moments before my phone died)

it was a weird roller coaster up & down kinda weekend.

i spent my friday off with the house to myself
playing with some watercolors,
doing a little doodling, listening to music...
taking the day slow and quiet,
my favorite kind of day.

then campbell came home
white as a sheet of paper
and hurt...
a 6 hour stay in emergency
to find out that while he did not
get a concussion out of his skateboarding mishap,
he did break his collarbone :(

it's never fun sitting in a hospital waiting room
for that long especially when your phone died
and you didn't have supper
and you are both starving
but,
on the bright side,
i had 6 hours of captive quality time with my boy.
i learned that he is incredibly patient, even when hungry and hurt.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥-----------♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥------------♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥-----------♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

as if a baby belly is not enough enticement to come take photos, they also bought me a diet coke AND told me they had lilacs in their yard! :)

saturday was an early morning maternity session.
i love when i have the opportunity to work with friends.
i knew the momma-to-be from an ECCE course we
took together years ago
but i also had the privilege of doing their
engagement photos and their wedding photos
so i was very excited when they asked me to do
their baby-belly photos!

sneak peeks to come!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥-----------♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥------------♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥-----------♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

and early saturday evening was so much fun
as i got to meet up with a gang of friends
who planned an informal reunion get-together
at a beautiful cottage in Seaview.

i graduated TOSH in 1988 and i believe most of this
crew graduated in '86 or '87.
it was kind of a little surreal for me to do these photos
as i remember most of them from high school
but in a sort of intimidating they-were-a-cool-crowd-artsy-
i-wanna-be-like-them-but-i'm-such-a-dorky-shy-geeky-kid kinda way.

and it's funny how easily we can be transported to
those high school feelings even this many years later.
driving out there i was actually nervous, more nervous
than i normally am.

and what's even funnier is when you realize
that people are just people...and you know that
you knew it all along but it's hard to let go of what
you thought you knew about someone
when really...
you didn't know them at all.

i realize now that back then i formed more opinions of what
i thought other people must be like
based on my opinions and beliefs about myself...
my intimidation had more to do with my own
typical teenage-years lack of self confidence and insecurity...
and in my self-absorbed insecure teenage head,
i always thought i was the only one that felt this way
(dorky, weird, odd, alone, unattractive, out of fashion, alone)
but really, chances are, most of us felt this way
but some of us were better at hiding it.

anyway, this has totally gotten off track :)
and what i really wanted to say is
they all made me feel so welcome and comfortable
and it was so much fun listening to them share stories
of their time in high school...the parties, the yearbooks inscriptions,
the old photo albums and the big hair.
I am so happy that they asked me to help document part of
this weekend for them, it was a ton of fun!

sneak peeks to come!

and more lilacs...because...well...they're lilacs!!! :)

one sided memories...

June 5, 2016 Arlene Giddings

i will warn you...this is not what i meant to write when i came here today....
but this is what came out.

it never fails.

every june,
i am drawn here.

i don't even realize it
until my car is passing my parent's house,
til I have passed the hall
where they used to hold Halloween parties,
where we used to meet "half-way" we said...
where i drive up the road
that we used to walk
relentlessly and tirelessly
singing billy idol
and bon jovi
at the top of our lungs,
neighbor's be damned....

the road where we used to practice curse words
and no one could hear...
where we shared headphones
and sang madonna...

til my car is passing her house
and the fields where we played both
baseball (by our own made up rules, of course
and likely with a stick for a bat
and pair of rolled up socks
for a ball) and barbies
that sported bathing suits made from
masking tape...
the field where we hid from the siblings....
the back step where we drank koolaid
(not kool aid with turpentine, that came later)
and the front step where we laid out
in matching white bathing suits...well,
not really matching...hers was christopher's beach club
and mine was the pink panther
with the smell of baby oil and fresh cut grass lingering.

past the spot where
i almost always have to close my eyes
but i can't now, cause i'm driving, so i look
at the fields, at the sky, at the radio,
anywhere but the road, anywhere but the driveway...

past the spot where the
bookmobile stopped,
past the part of the road where
at a certain time of day,
the shadows of the trees are cast
long across the road.
this was always my favorite stretch of this road
when we used to bike up this far...
and oddly enough,
this is very close to where you are now.
the shadows of the trees
cast long across you in the evenings.

i find myself on the dirt road
leading to our beach...
the road so familiar,
i could drive it with my eyes closed.

when i drive down this road,
i hear all of us crammed in the backseat...
all the fighting and the laughing and the teasing and the music...
bare legs sticking against hot seats,
no car seats, no seat belts,
8 of us crammed in a backseat built for 4.
warm koolaid with sand in it.
walking on the rocks as far as we could go...
looking for sandglass,
looking for boys...(there were never any)
swinging on the swings even when we were far too old
for that to be cool...
long baggy t-shirts over our bathing suits,
skin brown, hair messy and tangled.
happy.

every rock that i step on,
i think
we probably stepped on this rock.
i look for signs from you
and i worry
that you won't ever send me one
but then
i worry more
that you might sending them to me
and i might be
walking right by them
which would be so much worse...
so instead i focus on looking for
something
that i can bring to you...
a bouquet of wilted blossoms,
a stolen sprig of wild roses
not yet fully in bloom,
a misshapen heart shaped rock...
and when i slip and almost fall on the wet seaweed,
i laugh out loud...
cause i know that would have made you laugh.

every june,
i find myself drawn here
looking for us
in my one side memories.
♥♥♥♥♥

tuesday truths and chicken fricot...

May 17, 2016 Arlene Giddings

I don't like to cook. Not normally.
Usually Stirling does most of the cooking
and by most...
I mean most.
If left to me, supper would generally be
sugary cereal with
more sugar added....
or toast
with butter
and brown sugar.

But I do like to make chicken fricot
or what I consider to be my version of chicken fricot.
In my non-vegetable loving world,
chicken fricot is chicken, potatoes and chicken broth...
no dumplings, no carrots, definitely no turnip...
lots of salt and pepper...and maybe, a little more salt.
Onions are ok now (not so much when I was a kid).

Chicken fricot makes me think of my grandmother's
teeny-tiny house that was always filled with kids
and where we jumped on the bed
and ate home cut french fries (if one of the boys would go
to the basement to get the potatoes)
and meat pies
and ice cream
while watching the carol burnett show
and cable tv (a luxury we did not have at home).
When my grandmother wasn't holding one of my many,
many younger cousins, she was knitting...or cooking...
or laughing...or all of these things at once.

When I make chicken fricot,
I think of her english mixed with french and vice versa.
I think about how she was the most down to earth person
I have ever known....and how, even though there were SO
many of us, she was always able to remember the little things...
when I would come over she would let me go out to my
uncle's room to read archie comics and color in peace...
she remembered what we liked, what we didn't.
And she listened when you were telling her something...
like...really listened...really heard you...
even with so much going on all the time.

So yeah, I like to make chicken fricot.
:) It'll never be hers but it always makes me feel better.

a perfect mother's day...

May 8, 2016 Arlene Giddings

this has been a perfect mother's day.
i slept in,
had breakfast made for me,
spent some time finishing up
my "new work/playspace"
and then...got presents!
stirling & campbell got me
the pink and black polka dot rubber boots
that i have been coveting forever
and emma got me
a purple bag
filled with the cutest stuff ever...
kitty cat post it notes,
scented markers shaped like bears,
a twisted fairy tale coloring book...

and then, we picked up a bucket of KFC
and headed to my mom & dad's for supper...
it's not that often that all
four of us are in the same car
so, that alone, was a great part of my day...

emma fell asleep on the drive back...which didn't stop me from taking selfies with her... :)

there is nothing i like more
than seeing my parents...
making plans to go to cabot trail
this fall,
sharing garden ideas,
eating KFC,
making height jokes at my dad's expense,
talking about when we were small...
this was the best way to finish my mother's day.

if there is anything that my mom taught me
it was that love
is unconditional.
no exceptions, no substitutions,
no excuses, no denying it....
love is unconditional.
no matter what,
i knew they were both not always just
there for us
but behind us every step of the way...
the biggest and best supporters
we would ever have.

happy mother's day, mom!
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3