friday i'm in love....a little bit of ranting, a lot of raving. ♥

April 22, 2022 Arlene Giddings

While the day started off
iffy
with a frustrating trip
to the walk in clinic
(getting there half an hour
before they opened according to
their website but finding out that
if you want to register
you really have to come AN HOUR
before the time posted
ON THEIR WEBSITE…
am I bitter? maybe a l'il bit)

it got better.

I spent some time reading a new book
(that is SO good, by the way)
by the boardwalk
and even did a short walk
in between weird little rainshowers…
AND I ate at Subway
which I can do now
because I can order using the app!!!
If you know me, you will know
that ordering from Subway stresses me out…
it’s too many questions…
as soon as they ask me what kind of bread,
i’m done. I’ve drawn a blank. I begin
stuttering & stammering and then
I lose the thread of the entire food order
and sometimes just leave.

So yeah…the app saved my life. :)

and then…..there was ice cream…. :)
(Kool Breeze - Skor sundae)

THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY & YOU KNOW IT….

♥ can i please have a school bus????
♥ i want want want WANT this.
♥ when 26 was about 3, she said “that’s ok, I’ll wear it again when
I come back as a little girl” because she had outgrown a favorite dress…
this made me think of that.
♥ I really, really wanna stay here….I know it’s slightly out of my
usual range of “maritime travel” though. Heh.

wordless wednesday - looking back

April 20, 2022 Arlene Giddings

Not a true wordless wednesday
as you are now reading
words
but I just wanted to say
that I have been planning
an off island adventure
again for this summer
and that made me think about
last summer’s first ever solo adventure
and how frigging fun that was
and so I thought I would share
some of the photos
from the trip to
Hopewell Rocks, Cape Enrage
and, oddly enough, Truro…
(I tend to operate without a map
or a plan…)

I can’t WAIT to do this again.
If you have any suggestions on
where a girl who doesn’t like
a lot of traffic and crazy intersections
but does like nature
and trains and rabbits and deer
and breathtaking views
should go, let me know!!! :)

Ok….this really isn’t going to be wordless.
I have to say that when I look at these photos,
they take me right back to that moment.

I had gotten to the place that I was going to stay at
and I was full of nervousness and doubt and fear
and anxiety…wondering if I should have done this,
wondering if I should just go home.

I checked into the Inn…and then I went for a drive…
a random drive…that took me down this little hilly road
and I saw cows.
And I felt like I was home. Safe.
I recognized this. I felt calmer.
I could do this.
I could just explore THIS area
just like I explore at home…

This was the moment.
The shift.
The second I realized
hold on….this is fun!
Instead of anxiety,
I felt exhilaration.
Instead of fear,
I felt curious.

And then I found a restaurant that
served chicken fingers & the waitress
teased me about my salt consumption
and I ran out in the street to shoot a rainbow
and felt like I was at home again.
♥

tuesday truths

April 19, 2022 Arlene Giddings

when i reread what i
wrote yesterday
about how my
dad felt when we were
both in the same area,
close proximity
but each doing our own thing
and how that made him feel
happy and content…

i realize that i often feel like that now…

26 is living home with me
and we often spend a lot of time
together and apart…
i hear her at the top of the stairs
at my old art desk,
mixing paints, cutting paper,
giggling at tiktoks and youtubers…
while i am down here
clickclacking on a keyboard,
doodling letters made out of flowers
and little geek girls
with sad eyes and striped socks
listening to leonard cohen and bonnie raitt…

we meet in the middle often…
she cooks me meals,
we watch greys anatomy…

but i love this somewhat shared
alone but not alone time….
having grown up kids live with you
is not really a bad thing…
sometimes
it’s exactly what you needed
even when you didn’t know
you needed it.
♥

whatcha readin'? {goal 35::book 5}

April 18, 2022 Arlene Giddings

To tell you the truth,
I didn’t know what this book was about
when it was given to me.
I trade books a lot
so I don’t always have a lot of
control/insight
into what I am reading
and…I kind of like that.

I read this book
while sitting in hospital family rooms,
on hard benchs opposite the hospital elevator,
in hotel rooms and air bnbs,
and in a creaky chair
beside my dad’s bed
while he slept.

He would wake up from a 2 minute or
a 2 hour nap and say
Arlene! you’re still here!
and I would say yep,
just reading my book
and he would try not to laugh
because it hurt
and would say
always reading your book. ♥

I know this post is supposed to be about this book
but thinking about this book
will always make me think of dad.
And how when I was in my 20’s or so,
dad told me that he remembered
when I was a kid
and how I would come into the shed where he was working
to sit in a corner in the
sawdust and the sunshine
with a book I had read a hundred times before
that was probably overdue to the bookmobile
and how that made him feel
happy to think that I just wanted to be
in the same area as him…
him doing his thing, working on a skidoo or building a windmill,
me always reading my book.

Now. That said….
you should read this book.
You should have your daughters read this book
but if you can, you should have your sons
read this book.
The story is painful to read,
it is frustrating and maddening and occasionally infuriating
but also so beautifully written…
and smart.

I often think “what would I do, what would I have done?”
and I am a little ashamed to say
but I fear I would not be even a fraction
as brave as this girl was
to step forward, to push, to fight, to take on
the assumptions, allegations, abuse, opinions
that were flung her way…
as a person who has always blacked out
from drinking…no matter how much or how little alcohol I consume,
I always lose a portion of the night…
when I was younger, it was often a whole night.
So I can empathize with her on this point.

Her writing is both powerful and vulnerable.

Anyway. Read the book if you can.

5♥♥♥♥♥’s out of 5
NEXT UP:: HER LAST GOODBYE - RICK MOFINA