friday i'm in love 👻

It’s the first day of new month.
That makes me happy.

THINGS I AM LOVING RIGHT NOW:
🍂I have not had a “really bad” headache
in about a week.

🍂Mild fall temperatures that make me
want to be outside which means I made it
to the park that I always try to get to
for fall photos and it did not disappoint.

🍂Reading this made me laugh cause…
me. I’m the red flag. Me.
I fit two out of three of the flags.

🍂this was just cool.

🍂Did a dry needling session with my
physio girl and she focused on the front muscles
in my neck…and while it hurt like the devil
to have it done, please see my first entry
regarding no bad headaches in a week…
fingers crossed.

🍂So excited to have gotten tickets for this
tonight! Nirvana!! Grunge!!! Yay!

I am still sad that Sarah McLachlan’s
Moncton concert is postponed but I am
hopeful it will be rescheduled.
More finger crossing. 😊

and a random picture of the pug
cause he’s cute
and I haven’t posted anything
about him in a long time.

spinning my tires....and a tiny peek into how my brain actually operates...

I am feeling a little…
indecisive
lately
which is bad timing
because I also feel like
I have a lot of decisions
to make right now…

and I feel like
I’m spinning my wheels
on ice
and not really
getting any traction….
just a lot of noise & slush kicking up.

And it feels like
each of these
decisions
seem to domino affect
another decision or
create another thing to think about.

Here’s a small sampling of the
chaotic mess happening on repeat in my brain
since my dryer broke:

I could get it fixed…
is it worth getting it fixed, it’s second hand to start with…
could if I fix it myself,
I watched some youtube videos…
I just need a multimeter maybe…and possibly a screwdriver…
but then I need whatever part/fuse it is if that’s even what’s wrong.
I could get a new dryer but if the
dryer vent needs to be cleaned & that’s what broke this dryer
then I need to do that first
unless I clean it myself (which has now been ruled out) OR
I could get a ventless dryer because then
I don’t have to worry about cleaning vent AND
it will fit into that tight space I am working with
but it is more expensive and doesn’t hold as much clothes
(do I need it to hold much…I mean eventually it will just be me here)
(which then causes momentary existential panic
about how I might always be alone and makes me
wonder if I should be taking dating more seriously again
but do I really want to date and how do I fit someone into my life
after this long and mostly I think I’m happy but do I just think
I’m happy cause that’s easier then letting anyone else in
and creates a whole new set of dilemmas)
OR i could get a new washer and dryer for about the same price
as the ventless dryer (but get the vent cleaned first)
and also I think I might need a plumber to tell me
why the sink gurgles when the washer drains
so maybe I should just get a new dryer for now
but should I get a ventless one or maybe
I can just fix my dryer.

but if I get a new washer/dryer,
maybe I should just bite the bullet and get a stove too
(cause, you know, oven pliers)
and if I did that, I should replace the counter top
with a butcher block like I saw on the youtube video,
that didn’t look hard, I just need a saw…and some glue…
but then that would mean the backsplash too
and the sink should be replaced…
and that makes me think of the gurgle again…
and plumbers and maybe I should get a heat pump…

OR maybe I should just get a clothesline.

true story. :)

taking a breath...

We were incredibly lucky
at the big orange house
as far as hurricane effing fiona went.

We lost one big tree in the back,
one of my prettiest trees
and I feel guilty even being sad
about that when so many people
lost so much more…
the destruction is heart breaking.

I can’t even look at it anymore.
I avoid facebook or tiktok or
anywhere that shows the
homes washed away,
the roofs blown off,
the destruction of beaches and
shoreline and wharves and boats
and dunes…bridges washed out completely,
flooding, power outages for days,
beautiful trees uprooted
and broken…
it hurts my heart
to see my island this way…

I know it can be fixed and rebuilt
to some degree but for now
I just can’t look anymore.
I don’t want to drive around in this..
and not just because it’s still dangerous to do so
but because
I think I would cry.

So instead,
I cope how I always cope…
avoidance & distraction.
Doodles of little geek girls with
stripey stocks and pig tails,
eating jello cups,
watching cartoons
and reading on the deck.

I hope everything is ok where you are.
That you are warm and fed and safe…
♥♥♥

friday i'm in love....♥♥♥

It’s the kind of night
that’s a little bit crisp,
a little bit cool
but the sun is still shining
and I just can’t make myself
go inside
so I am wrapped up
in a blanket
curled up in the pop tent
with some ginger ale
in a fancy glass
while I click away
on my laptop
and I am happy…

truly seriously happy.

FRIDAY I’M IN LOVE:

♥ with how this budget walkway turned out….
I wasn’t really sure at first but now I am so happy with it

♥ polka dot dresses and naps in the hammock

♥ with watching this with my daughter…
she had never seen it so it’s fun to watch it with her.

♥ this perfect poem for today

♥ starry, starry skies

♥ perfectly lemony, perfectly powdered sugary doughnuts

I hope you had a fantastic friday! :)

tuesday truths

when i reread what i
wrote yesterday
about how my
dad felt when we were
both in the same area,
close proximity
but each doing our own thing
and how that made him feel
happy and content…

i realize that i often feel like that now…

26 is living home with me
and we often spend a lot of time
together and apart…
i hear her at the top of the stairs
at my old art desk,
mixing paints, cutting paper,
giggling at tiktoks and youtubers…
while i am down here
clickclacking on a keyboard,
doodling letters made out of flowers
and little geek girls
with sad eyes and striped socks
listening to leonard cohen and bonnie raitt…

we meet in the middle often…
she cooks me meals,
we watch greys anatomy…

but i love this somewhat shared
alone but not alone time….
having grown up kids live with you
is not really a bad thing…
sometimes
it’s exactly what you needed
even when you didn’t know
you needed it.
♥