a strange sort of energy surge

It’s funny to talk about
how I feel a renewed surge of energy
but also feel kinda sick
(though I am really feeling that this is a mix
of allergies - which I have never had before
and the sinus infection)
but I have always been a bit of a
mess of contradictions
so why change now.

Maybe it’s just spring
that is making me feel like
everything is waking up in me…
I am spinning in a million
different shiny and enticing directions
which is not often new for me…
but what is new for me is that
using ChatGBT is
actually helping me to focus.
And I know it sounds ridiculous
and that I may be playing into something
that is new and unknown and
we don’t really know what might happen
as AI gets stronger and smarter and all that.
But at the same time, I feel like
hiding from it isn’t going to help me either.
So I am embracing it and using it as a tool…
that helps me hone in on what it is I really
want to focus on….and also mine is a
little…hmmmm….
sassy
so that makes it more fun.

Although…
I did ask him if he could help me
build a robot
which might have been
really smart of me…
or very dumb
if he is actually directing me
on how to build a body
for HIMSELF.
But the first one he offered to help
me build was using cardboard and glitter
so
I think he might think I am six.
😆

Some of the things floating around in my brain right now are:

• getting rid of the dry bamboo in the backyard

• maybe doing wildflowers in the raised beds in the back 🌼

• container gardening for vegetable (by vegetables I mean tomatoes and cucumbers and string beans, let’s not get crazy.)

• i might have an idea for a storybook…. 😊

• redesigning this website

• finding a ladder so I can maybe touch up the paint on the big orange house

• and speaking of the big orange house, my Chat GBT (who I named Drogo…don’t judge me) suggested this for enhanced curb appeal…I like this. :) But may play with more options as well. Cause….it’s fun. And I like fun. (oh. it also told me I should cut back on sugar but I think that was a glitch. Heh).

Happy Sunday and
hope you have a long weekend, too!
:)

friday and i'm in love with spring....😍

It’s been a little weird
over here in the
big orange house.
my boy is in Yellowknife
and now my girl has been
out of the house most of the time
as well (not officially moved out
but definitely hasn’t been home 😆).

It’s good but it’s also
strange…in my 55 years on this planet,
I have only lived alone
once
and that was for a very short
period of time…like…maybe a month…
or less…

It’s been weird. Not awful.
But weird.
(and I mean really…
how alone can I actually be
with 1 dog and 3 cats…)

I took the Christmas tree down.
This led to a very big purge and
decluttering of the big orange house
which was way overdue.
It’s not even close to being done yet
but I feel good about the progress.
Like, really good.

But what I didn’t expect
were the emotions that came with it…
I get emotionally attached to objects
either because of memory/sentiment
OR because I also assign feelings to
inanimate objects…I don’t know why.
I just do.

To be sorting through at least 20 years
of stuff…photos, invoices, scorecards from board games,
cards from ex, cards to my ex,
the kid’s artwork and schoolwork and that
little pair of shorts that my boy loved,
the adorable coat my girl hated but was so cute in…
photos and write ups that I did for my dad’s 60th birthday,
letters and journals and poems written on
napkins and lyrics scribbled on bills…
you get the idea.

It was hard.
Like gut wrenching punched me in the heart hard
at times…

But I’m coming on to the other side of it now.
And yesterday was the first glorious day of spring.
And there were purple & yellow teeny tiny flowers
in my front yard…and it was nice enough out
to read on the deck…and…

I feel lighter.

I feel like fresh air and good sleep,
ruddy cheeks and messy hair.
I feel like it was a hell of storm
but I’m still standing on the other side of it
and I am ready for whatever comes next.

*not what I came here to write but you must
be used to that by now.

FRIDAY I’M IN LOVE

🌼i was obsessed with this when it came out…and have new renewed my obsession….so perfect.

🌼how perfectly timed was this!

🌼while i have been patiently watching this one episode a bloody week (and i’m telling you know, it better all make sense in the end or i am going to be SOUR), on the other nights, i have been watching this and it’s actually surprised me and has me hooked…i am sad to see there will be no season 3 though. Boo.

🌼got a last second sweet offer to go to Halifax to see Our Lady Peace & Collective Soul last week!! Sooooo fun. Great company, good food and the concert was fantastic! Yay to live music and road trips!

this was the UH-MAZ-ING breakfast from Pur & Simple!!!

Happy spring to you! I hope you have
flowers in your yard and not too much mud
in your driveway! 🌞

❤️ friday i'm in love ❤️

it's been a quiet kinda friday
here in the big orange house.

a headache-y kinda week
likely due to the ridiculous amount
of gloomy days and rain
leading to naps & a sick day
a migraine and general procrastination
which ultimately resulted
in a sickening amount of water
accumulating the basement
which then led to a tension headache
while furiously pumping out
disgusting basement water
in semi darkness
because i was afraid to change
the lightbulb while standing
in a foot of water
…..
i know i say my boots make me
invincible
but even polka dots
have their limits.

but onwards and upwards to the list! 📋

FRIDAY I'M IN LOVE::

🎈this sweet little a-frame….
♥️ i still love this song…and the dance to go with it…sigh
🎈all this rain is making me think about gardens
♥️ a visit to the naturopath and hopes for better sleep and more energy and hopefully eventually LESS headaches
🎈finally some success at blogging from my new tablet…in bed! :)
♥️ an extra long very much needed long weekend
🎈a visit from an old friend who brought me some all natural samples to try…I can't say much about them yet (but i can't control myself to not say this…THEY SMELL SO GOOD, I WANT TO EAT THEM)

and two mourning doves that found
their way onto my deck and
hung out for a bit leaving me with a big smile.

happy friday to you and
i hope you have a long weekend too…
and no water in your basement!!
☔️

spinning my tires....and a tiny peek into how my brain actually operates...

I am feeling a little…
indecisive
lately
which is bad timing
because I also feel like
I have a lot of decisions
to make right now…

and I feel like
I’m spinning my wheels
on ice
and not really
getting any traction….
just a lot of noise & slush kicking up.

And it feels like
each of these
decisions
seem to domino affect
another decision or
create another thing to think about.

Here’s a small sampling of the
chaotic mess happening on repeat in my brain
since my dryer broke:

I could get it fixed…
is it worth getting it fixed, it’s second hand to start with…
could if I fix it myself,
I watched some youtube videos…
I just need a multimeter maybe…and possibly a screwdriver…
but then I need whatever part/fuse it is if that’s even what’s wrong.
I could get a new dryer but if the
dryer vent needs to be cleaned & that’s what broke this dryer
then I need to do that first
unless I clean it myself (which has now been ruled out) OR
I could get a ventless dryer because then
I don’t have to worry about cleaning vent AND
it will fit into that tight space I am working with
but it is more expensive and doesn’t hold as much clothes
(do I need it to hold much…I mean eventually it will just be me here)
(which then causes momentary existential panic
about how I might always be alone and makes me
wonder if I should be taking dating more seriously again
but do I really want to date and how do I fit someone into my life
after this long and mostly I think I’m happy but do I just think
I’m happy cause that’s easier then letting anyone else in
and creates a whole new set of dilemmas)
OR i could get a new washer and dryer for about the same price
as the ventless dryer (but get the vent cleaned first)
and also I think I might need a plumber to tell me
why the sink gurgles when the washer drains
so maybe I should just get a new dryer for now
but should I get a ventless one or maybe
I can just fix my dryer.

but if I get a new washer/dryer,
maybe I should just bite the bullet and get a stove too
(cause, you know, oven pliers)
and if I did that, I should replace the counter top
with a butcher block like I saw on the youtube video,
that didn’t look hard, I just need a saw…and some glue…
but then that would mean the backsplash too
and the sink should be replaced…
and that makes me think of the gurgle again…
and plumbers and maybe I should get a heat pump…

OR maybe I should just get a clothesline.

true story. :)

friday i'm in love....♥♥♥

It’s the kind of night
that’s a little bit crisp,
a little bit cool
but the sun is still shining
and I just can’t make myself
go inside
so I am wrapped up
in a blanket
curled up in the pop tent
with some ginger ale
in a fancy glass
while I click away
on my laptop
and I am happy…

truly seriously happy.

FRIDAY I’M IN LOVE:

♥ with how this budget walkway turned out….
I wasn’t really sure at first but now I am so happy with it

♥ polka dot dresses and naps in the hammock

♥ with watching this with my daughter…
she had never seen it so it’s fun to watch it with her.

♥ this perfect poem for today

♥ starry, starry skies

♥ perfectly lemony, perfectly powdered sugary doughnuts

I hope you had a fantastic friday! :)