i have been pretty quiet here...

i'm not really sure why...
i just feel
quiet.

where have i been?
catching up at work,
catching up at home..
trying to catch up on editing...
catchingupcatchingupcatchingupcatchingup
it's a never ending race
and i never seem to feel
like i have crossed the finish line.

feeling like i am spinning my wheels
a lot...
but not gaining much traction.

i don't know if it's the whole presidential debate
and how i am avoiding social media now because
i am a bit of an ostrich
happier with my head in the sand
than reading the apocalyptic facebook statuses...

or if it's the time change
and the deep darkness falling at 5:00 pm...

or maybe it's sinking in for real
that my boy will be graduating this year...
and that now, when i am alone in the house
(which used to make me very happy, by the way,
to have the house all to myself),
but now, when i am alone,
i get this impending sad feeling that someday
this is how it will be a lot of the time...
a quiet house...no blaring tv, no game cube,
no bickering, no playstation, no vine videos,
no one yelling out of the blue just because that's what she does...

or maybe it's a little bit of giving up the weddings...
on one hand, i keep thinking how great next summer is going to be
but, still makes me sad on another level...
change makes me sad.

and then leonard cohen died...

and i feel like time is playing tricks on me.
it's messing with my head.
it's making me think too much.

or
maybe it's just the chicken i ate that was over 2 weeks old...
:)