whatcha readin' 2018 catch-up post...

My goal for 2018 was to read 24 books…
and I read 36!

I wrote about 27 of them on here already,
but here is a quick blurb on the ones that I missed

28. Educated - Tara Westover
Allllll the hearts. If I could give more than 5 ♥♥♥♥♥ out of 5…I totally would.
I loved this book. Her writing, her story.
So good. Heartbreaking. Incredible.
Hard to wrap your head around.
So sad and yet so happy for her….
Those were all the notes I had written to myself about this book.
I love, love, loved it.
Go read it. If you are only going to read one thing I have recommended this year,
make it this one.
(but really, why wouldn’t you trust me on more than one book?
I’m a good judge of books! I promise!)

29. The Magnolia Story - Chip and Joanna
2.5 ♥’s out of 5 ♥’s

Honestly…I don’t know why I even tried this book.
I knew nothing about Chip and Joanna
or even why they were writing about a magnolia…
but it seemed popular
(and he is cute. I am not going to lie. His cuteness is kinda sold me on the book).
Anyway. The book irritated me
but just because…it’s not really my kind of thing.

30. In a Dark, Dark Wood - Ruth Ware
4 ♥’s out of 5 ♥’s

Pretty good. Very quick, suspenseful read.
I thought the writing was ok but nothing that
took my breath away. I didn’t love the characters.
But…it was ok.

31. The Lonely Hearts Hotel - Heather O’Neill
5 ♥’s out of 5 ♥’s

Oh. Did I mention a book taking my breath away?
Because this one did.
Heather O’Neill is a Canadian novelist but also a poet
and that is so obvious in her way with words….
I adored the writing…
but I fell head over heels in love with the characters.
Rose. Oh…I loved Rose.
Seriously. Read two books I recommended this year…
you’ll thank me!

32. Mrs - Caitlin Macy
2 ♥’s out of 5 ♥’s

This one…yeah…I am not recommending this one.
I really did not enjoy this book.
It felt presumptuous and overdone to me
I felt irritable while reading it
and that is not how you want to feel when
reading a book.

33. The Storied LIfe of AJ Fikry - Gabrielle Zevin
5 ♥’s out of 5 ♥’s

I loved this book.
I had written myself a note that said
”35 pages in and I am loving this book,
reminds me of Nick Hornby…slightly sarcastic and snide.”

Also, I loved that the part about how
people would come in the bookstore looking for
”a book with a red cover, do you know the one?”
YES. People really do that.
Sigh.
(and yet, I kind of miss retail. Heehee)

34. Option B - Sheryl Sandberg
5 ♥’s out of 5 ♥’s

Yeah…remember that I was reading this
at the height of my separation
before I had admitted out loud that
I was in the middle of a separation…
so my mindset may have affected how much I liked this book.

But it helped me. I found myself making a lot of notes
that when I look at in retrospect now,
knowing where I was at while reading it,
I can see why some of these things spoke to me
so strongly.

But I loved how she talked about Anne Dilliard saying
”how we spend our days is how we spend our lives”
which I took to mean that you should find the happy
in your every day life, don’t just wait for the big things,
make your own gawd damn happy.
And that you cannot/should not rely on someone else to make you happy.
They may not always be there.

Oh.
And you can fail by failing to try.

Also.
Believing it will all work out … helps it to all work out.

35 and 36 Pillars of the Earth and World Without End - Ken Follett
5 ♥’s out of 5 ♥’s

OK. I am not sure that these
should count
because I read them before
but they are also about a 1000 damn pages each
so…I am counting them!
:)
I loved these books. I loved them just as much the second time around.
Although I was a little frustrated with myself
when I realized
I probably didn’t NEED to re-read them before reading the third.

They are connected but very remotely…
you could easily read these as single books
or out of order and not really be affected…
I mean, obviously a little but not that much…

But the books are so good.
……………………………………………………
And that was it for 2018!
I debated on whether to set my goal for 2019 at one more
than my goal last year - which would be 25
or
to go one more than the amount I had read…
which would be 37…

Um. I set the bar low…and went with 25. :)
Got any recommendations?

friday i'm in love...(the one where I get totally off track)...

♥ I love these little barns. And when I say I love them them,
I mean I love them with my whole heart…I love the pop of red,
the fact that they are all alone out there, but together…
a big one and a little one…that one tree…the worn paint, the doors…
I just love them. :)

I couldn’t tell you how to get to them
but I can tell you that I have taken dozens of photos of them
over the years. I kind of like that I am so bad at directions that finding them
always comes as a bit of a surprise to me…like seeing old friends at the grocery store
and being so happy that you pulled your cart/car over to catch up again.

I also love that I posted this on Facebook and so many people
not only recognized them but shared their love for them, too!
And one person even gave me a little bit of history about them…
which I love knowing. It just makes me happy.

Social media is a funny thing. :)
I know it has its pitfalls and downsides and dark sides…
but mostly…I love it….because it gives me the possibility of
connection
that a self proclaimed introvert like me
would not normally be able to make.

I’m getting off topic. :)

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♥ Except that I am not really getting off topic. :)
The next thing I love is kinda related to social media, too.
For a long time, I only used my photography page for
sharing photography…and when I say photography,
I mean mainly paid sessions…and by that, I mean, mainly weddings.

And it was fantastic. I had great success with that page…
lots of interactions, connections, likes and comments
(and you know I like comments & likes! heehee)
but when the weddings stopped, I kind of stopped posting there.

I didn’t think that the people that followed my page for that
would be interested in what I am doing now…
haha….whatever it is that I am doing now…
dabbling….that’s what I am doing.
Picking at this, doodling that…little bit of writing,
a lot of random posts about mundane things in my life…
but I started slowly sharing little bits of that on my photography page
and, to my surprise and IMMENSE happiness,
not only did I not really lose any friends there,
I have actually started gaining some more! :)
And they comment and like and share and read my blog sometimes (hi there!!)
and we talk about books and cards and
where I should go on my next Friday adventure and
it makes me so incredibly happy.

Which makes me think about where to go next…
I feel like I would like to revamp that page a little…
but I would also like to revamp the blog…
and maybe start a Patreon page
which would give me another platform for sharing
some of the ideas that I have thinking about…
and might also help me be able to accomplish
some of the ideas that I have.
I feel like a Patreon page would force me to be
accountable and productive
and stop spinning my wheels and
jumping from one idea to another….
if I had paid subscribers waiting for specific things,
then that forces me to buckle down and focus…
but then…it’s about money…
and if you know me at all, you know I have issues
when it comes to pricing.

(I did my first wedding for 60.00 if that gives you an idea
of what I mean by that. Heh.)

Anyway…it’s a lot to think about and totally NOT where I
intended this post to go.

I wanted to tell you that I played Apples to Apples & Skip-Bo
for the first time last night and it was so fun, even though I lost.

And that I have a brand new bag of cinnamon hearts.
Oh…..and to say thanks for sticking with me for this long rambling muddled
post of a post. ♥

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tuesday truths...the whiney, pouty, sulky i-hate-winter edition...(WITH FOG PHOTOS!)

the truth is
i’m tired.
i really want to stay awake,
i want to come home and work on new drawings
and paint new cards
and reorganize my closets
or, at the very least, pick up my clothes off the floor.

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but the truth is
it is taking all i have to
stay up past 8 pm…

i turned on my heated blankets
on my bed about an hour ago
and. it. is. taking. everything. i. have.
not to go to bed RIGHT NOW.

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the truth is
i know this is just what every winter
does to me…
it makes me sleepy and sulky,
constantly cold and
kinda temper-tantrumy-cranky-just-wanna-kick-things-and-eat-candy …
all i want to do is hibernate
until there is sunshine and warmth again….

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so i tell myself
”self…if you just get one thing done each night
when you come home,
just one at the very least
THEN you can put your pjs on,
crack a cold can of diet coke
and go climb into that preheated bed
with your phone, your books, your music, your movies
and your robot nightlight
AND you can stay there all night if you wanna…
(just…please don’t eat sunflower seeds in bed again,
you know you are going to spill them
and those shells hurt if you roll over on them….)”

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2019::Unfold

every year
i choose a word for the year…
a word to help
push me or gently guide me
depending on the need.

some years,
it has worked amazing…
other years, i may or may not have forgotten
what the word was
before the last sunset in
the first week of
january.

and that’s ok.
i don’t worry too much about it.
if it works, that’s great!
and if not, well, maybe i just picked the wrong word for that year.

looking back::

2018::Embrace - yeah…not so much. But, in my defense, the year kinda sucked no matter what word i would have chosen.
2017::Adventure - this one went really well for me…it was when i started my Friday Adventures :)
2016::Happy
2015::Risk - the year i decided it was time to cut back/stop shooting weddings
2014::Balance
2013::Brave
2012::Leap
2011::Connect
2010::Play/Expand
2009::Dare - this was another one of my best years related to my word
2008::Focus - looking back, I think this was helpful for the following year…

and this year, 2019, I am choosing a gentle word.
unfold.
a passive verb, if there is such a thing…
i need to let go a little, to relax, to stop holding on so tight
to what used to be….
and let a new beginning unfold.

i don’t want to force it or plan it or rush it or demand that it match
some preconceived picture in my head….
i just want to take my time and allow things to happen
as they happen.

which does not mean that i won’t be setting goals and
creating habit trackers and devising blueprints for taking over the world… :)
i do have a lot of things that i want to shift my focus to this year.

mainly in the creative areas of my life.
that’s where i feel excitement and fire and butterflies in my belly….
(all in a good way)…

but…in other areas, the areas that are murky and blurred and
sometimes, a little scary…the areas that involve change
and transition and how do we do this now when we are no longer “we”…
what happens next? how does one move forward?
what does moving forward even look like for me?
well. that part i am going to let go of.
i think that going through our first Christmas apart
might have taught me that it is ok to let go of any expectations…
to just let it happen….don’t worry about what new tradition should
replace one that you feel you lost…let the new tradition find you…
maybe it will be jamming a christmas tree in the back seat of the car
every year…maybe it will be picking up breakfast at a local gas station
coffee shop and then laughing about how you froze in the
drive through and ordered everyone some sort of weird (but good) vegetarian garden bagel…

maybe it will be playing a rousing game of parcheesi at the end of the day.

regardless, i have resolved to just let it find me.
and the same with new relationships and friendships…
i am going to stop panicking that i will be alone for the rest of my life
because i am incredibly awkward and far too forthcoming on social media…(this post is proof of that)
and
just
let
whatever
happens….
happen.

let it unfold.

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friday i'm in love...

-with long aimless drives
through snow packed country roads…
music playing loud,
sun shining through the trees…
not meeting another car
for miles and miles.

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-with Staples gift cards….
merry christmas to me!!!!
seriously so excited about this haul.
(and i had to get new erasers since my
cats are jerks and stole my one good eraser).

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- with getting back to the bullet journal again…
i’m a little behind for 2019
but…whatever…heehee.
it’ll get done.

i am pretty happy with how the first layout
turned out for 2019 though!
(and it was SO fun to use crayons and watercolors together…
i am definitely going to do that more!)

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-listening to this amazing album as
i drove around looking for good light and pretty pictures…
seriously, soooooo good….
and i am not just saying that because they are local artists
or because they are two of the totally sweetest people
or because she is totally the kind of girl you
wish you were cool enough to hang around with…
sweet and funny, talented and wears a leather jacket… :)
or because i went to school with Mike since
elementary school
and he pretty much gave me my first ever nickname…
(micerobe…because i was short, if you have to know)
but because i genuinely frigging loved it.
her voice, the lyrics, the music, how it reminded me
in some ways of bands/female artists i have loved over the years…
i am not sure why but jann arden comes to mind…
(someone else whose lyrics always, always drew me in)…

it’s available now on the their website (linked above)
& spotify/google play etc…
go listen to it…you can thank me later.
:)

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