boxing day bliss...♥♥♥

I know it probably seems like I don’t like Christmas
because I leave everything to the very last minute….
but…I actually love Christmas.

Not the shopping. I hate the shopping.

But I love Christmas day…the excitement
and wonder, the silliness and surprises…

And this year definitely did not disappoint.

Some highlights included:

♥ watching a muppet family christmas with a friend
WHO WAS SEEING IT FOR THE FIRST TIME!
(watch out for the icy patch! always makes me laugh)

♥ my mother in laws eagle brand squares

♥ knowing that the kids had a great time celebrating with both sides
of their family…that really does make me happy ♥♥

♥ 20 telling me not to look in my stocking when he left Christmas Eve…
this was what was in it….and I couldn’t have been more excited. Heeheehee

♥ 24 surprising me with a stocking full of toys and candy…a kinder egg as big as my head…
a charlie brown book, a little sesame street purse heehee…and this smurf quilt which almost made me cry

♥ going to my parents is always my favorite part of Christmas…
my mom saved the big bird ornament for me to put on (which was
even a little more bittersweet this year) and the doll head for 24…heehee

♥ my dads excitement over his new headlamp…heeheehee

♥ sweet unexpected gifts from my brothers & parents…gift cards, lots of candy, maritime hardcore hoodies, sweaters and scratch cards and this…heeheehee…

My brother Sandy is the real artist in our family…
I doodle a bit but Sandy really has the talent…and he made each of us
a drawing of one of our favorite childhood stories that we mainly tease
each other about…mine goes like this:

Once upon a time, a poor stressed out 16 year old girl who was
uncannily very amusing and witty and quite brilliant was forced to spend
her summers babysitting her 3 sometimes rotten younger brothers
for little pay and much pain.

After a hard day of slaving over a hot stove to provide a healthy nourishing lunch
to this little group of ungrateful heathens, one of them said he was still hungry.

Being the sweet, caring older sister that she was…
she offered him her spaghetti-o’s which she had not eaten yet.

But, being the rotten little sulk that he was, he turned up his little snub nose
at it because “she had a cold and he might catch it”.

So…she threw the plate at him.

The end.

heeheehee….he will tell you there is a different version
of this but his memory is not to be trusted. :)

……………………………………………………………….

And now…another Christmas is over…
and I am completely happy. ♥♥♥
I was able to spend it with people that I love…
and my heart is just really, really is full right now.

I am looking forward to 2020…
2019 had a few speed bumps but it’s sure out going out
better than it came in. ♥

Merry, merry Christmas to you and yours!

it's only wednesday but....

I have had a very good week or two…

I have sold every card that I have painted
sometimes before the paint was even dry.

I watched a Christmas cartoon so pretty and poignant
that it made me cry…happy tears…but tears regardless.

Hot, crisp egg rolls.

Sleeping so much better every night thanks to this…
I am telling you, this is like magic for me. I hardly ever hear
the whole twelve minutes and I am out like a light. I have been raving about it
for a while and today Cam texted me to say he tried it last night,
skeptically, but that it worked for him, too! :)

A surprise drive to look at Christmas lights…and
the best house I have ever seen with lights that went in time to music…
I could have stayed there for hours,
or at least, until it felt too creepy to be sitting in front of a stranger’s house…
and the grand finale…a hot fudge sticky sundae with nuts from mcdonalds…
(PLUS I get to check “look at Christmas lights” off my Embrace Winter list)

A yearly tradition of shopping with my mom & sister in law…
I am not a big shopper, I go for the conversation and giggles,
& also because my mom always buys us hot chocolate and a doughnut after
(unless you willingly decide to have spinach…yes..little jab
to my sister in law but she loves me…heehee)
but this year, I spilled half a hot chocolate on my face, shirt, pants & table. Heh.
Can’t take me anywhere fancy.

A surprise gift left for me at work…a charlie brown Christmas tree AND A LINUS BLANKET
TO WRAP AROUND IT!!!

A couple of Christmas lunches with co-workers and friends…and one
where I got to defend my bowling championship (3 years running) but…
by losing it at curling. Blah. Whatever…I am still reigning bowling champion.
You can’t take that away from me.
(PLUS I get to check “try curling” off my Embrace Winter list)

A surprise bag of sweet cookies from someone I sold a card to and then got home
to my neighbor dropping off another unexpected but very much appreciated plate of goodies!!

And … then there was this…
sometimes someone
can surprise you…
can catch you so off guard…
can do something so sweet
& unexpected
that it brings you to tears.

I came home to a FULL TANK OF OIL today
and a surprise gift in my mailbox
from 2 of the sweetest Christmas elves ever…
I am not going to lie
that I might have been a little teary…
this was so something so unexpected
and totally unnecessary but
so incredibly sweet & thoughtful and, well…

I am literally at a loss for words
and I think we all agree that is a rare occurrence.

I might have come in to 2019 with a bit of a rough start
but going out is definitely feeling a little less scary. :)

life is a decision....

i wrote on the very last page of this journal today.

i was hoping it would take me to the end of december
so i could start a new year with a brand new book
but, i couldn’t make it stretch that far.
i need to write in it every day.

i started this journal in 2017.

part of me wants to burn it.

i have never felt that way about a journal before
but this one just holds so much hurt and sadness
and pieces of a broken smashed up heart.

but…
it also holds a fucking ton of progress.

i try not dwell on the past.
i am a big fan of “what’s done is done…move forward…even if it’s just baby steps”
some days, i’ll admit, that is easier to do than others….
but this little red book holds all my baby steps…
and all my backward slides, too.

but backward slides are to be expected.
in the front of the book, once upon a time, i had written
life is a decision.
and it really is.
every day i decide i am going to find at least
one thing that will make me
laugh really, really hard
and honestly, i meet that goal
every frigging day (usually at my own expense, but still…hahaha)

life is way too short to be sad…
there is ice cream to be eaten, books to be read, music to discover
and dirt roads to be explored…candy stores, gravel pits, road trips…
best friends, beaches, shooting stars, rainbow socks, happy meals…

i am grateful for what i had, we had a lot of really good years….
and two of the sweetest bestest kids i could ever imagine resulted from that…
i would have been lost without them…
and i am grateful that there has been no drama, no anger during the separation…
that had made it easier for sure…for all of us…
but now it’s ok to be excited about the possibilities…
what could the next big adventure be, peewee…
life is a decision.
will you turn right or left?
:)

i got this journal last year for christmas from someone special
and last night, i bought a new purple pen
cause…purple just makes me happy.
and i think we have established
i like to be happy.
:)

so bring on the new year….for once, i’m ready early.
heehee

grateful in a nutshell....

a random grateful list in which i try not to be too sappy or lame::

• family & friends that are always there for me…even when I seem to push people away

• my kids…i know they fall under family but really, they get a line of their own. There is literally nothing that makes me happier than these two humans. Sometimes it takes my breath away a little bit…how much I love them. I would be lost without them.

• a job that i love

• health

• home (even though it is acting like a temper tantrum-y 2 year old lately)

• books that provide me an escape from real life occasionally

• dirt roads

• microwave popcorn

• geese

• fall leaves

• hot chocolate

• polka dots

• people who make me laugh really hard (even if it is sometimes at my own expense)

• ice cream

• early morning texts/late night phone calls

• homemade (not by me) chocolate chip cookies

• turkey dinner (not made by me)

• new-to-me treadmill

• a working furnace

• naps

• that people are always so sweet & supportive about all of my little “interests” (ie cards; 50 before 50; blog; patreon; etc, etc, etc)

• lemon squares…well…lemon anything really….

• heated blankets

• good conversation & connections

• cold diet coke in a can

• music (that also provides an escape sometimes)

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Happy Thanksgiving…and I am not sure it has to be said
but I am seriously grateful for every person that stops by this
little space in the internetsphere to read my ramblings…so…yeah..you!! :)

friday i'm in love...(the one where I get totally off track)...

♥ I love these little barns. And when I say I love them them,
I mean I love them with my whole heart…I love the pop of red,
the fact that they are all alone out there, but together…
a big one and a little one…that one tree…the worn paint, the doors…
I just love them. :)

I couldn’t tell you how to get to them
but I can tell you that I have taken dozens of photos of them
over the years. I kind of like that I am so bad at directions that finding them
always comes as a bit of a surprise to me…like seeing old friends at the grocery store
and being so happy that you pulled your cart/car over to catch up again.

I also love that I posted this on Facebook and so many people
not only recognized them but shared their love for them, too!
And one person even gave me a little bit of history about them…
which I love knowing. It just makes me happy.

Social media is a funny thing. :)
I know it has its pitfalls and downsides and dark sides…
but mostly…I love it….because it gives me the possibility of
connection
that a self proclaimed introvert like me
would not normally be able to make.

I’m getting off topic. :)

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♥ Except that I am not really getting off topic. :)
The next thing I love is kinda related to social media, too.
For a long time, I only used my photography page for
sharing photography…and when I say photography,
I mean mainly paid sessions…and by that, I mean, mainly weddings.

And it was fantastic. I had great success with that page…
lots of interactions, connections, likes and comments
(and you know I like comments & likes! heehee)
but when the weddings stopped, I kind of stopped posting there.

I didn’t think that the people that followed my page for that
would be interested in what I am doing now…
haha….whatever it is that I am doing now…
dabbling….that’s what I am doing.
Picking at this, doodling that…little bit of writing,
a lot of random posts about mundane things in my life…
but I started slowly sharing little bits of that on my photography page
and, to my surprise and IMMENSE happiness,
not only did I not really lose any friends there,
I have actually started gaining some more! :)
And they comment and like and share and read my blog sometimes (hi there!!)
and we talk about books and cards and
where I should go on my next Friday adventure and
it makes me so incredibly happy.

Which makes me think about where to go next…
I feel like I would like to revamp that page a little…
but I would also like to revamp the blog…
and maybe start a Patreon page
which would give me another platform for sharing
some of the ideas that I have thinking about…
and might also help me be able to accomplish
some of the ideas that I have.
I feel like a Patreon page would force me to be
accountable and productive
and stop spinning my wheels and
jumping from one idea to another….
if I had paid subscribers waiting for specific things,
then that forces me to buckle down and focus…
but then…it’s about money…
and if you know me at all, you know I have issues
when it comes to pricing.

(I did my first wedding for 60.00 if that gives you an idea
of what I mean by that. Heh.)

Anyway…it’s a lot to think about and totally NOT where I
intended this post to go.

I wanted to tell you that I played Apples to Apples & Skip-Bo
for the first time last night and it was so fun, even though I lost.

And that I have a brand new bag of cinnamon hearts.
Oh…..and to say thanks for sticking with me for this long rambling muddled
post of a post. ♥

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