pinpoints of light...{don't mind me...i'm feeling wordy}

this would have been
a perfect night
to drive out to the
middle of nowhere
somewhere
and
lay on your back
in a field
counting the stars…
creating secret stories of lost galaxies…
silent constellations
and space ships with little flickering lights…

i just took the dog
for a walk
and was tempted to lay in the middle of
my street
staring up at the sky
but contented myself
with laying
on the deck instead
in the dark of the streetlights
wearing dress pants and a
dirty plaid work jacket that belongs to my kid…
and wondered
if the night sky was like that
picture of the boat
at my friend’s dad’s house
that everyone could see but me…
no matter how much i
relaxed my eyes…
i was never relaxed enough.

but maybe
if i could relax enough on my back on the deck
and stare at the night sky long enough,
the lines would blur
and i would see beyond the sharp pinpricks
of light

a sliver of a star to put in my pocket for the darker days.
a shard of understanding, of truth…

and then i think…
maybe nobody else saw the boat either.

friday i'm in love...(the one where I get totally off track)...

♥ I love these little barns. And when I say I love them them,
I mean I love them with my whole heart…I love the pop of red,
the fact that they are all alone out there, but together…
a big one and a little one…that one tree…the worn paint, the doors…
I just love them. :)

I couldn’t tell you how to get to them
but I can tell you that I have taken dozens of photos of them
over the years. I kind of like that I am so bad at directions that finding them
always comes as a bit of a surprise to me…like seeing old friends at the grocery store
and being so happy that you pulled your cart/car over to catch up again.

I also love that I posted this on Facebook and so many people
not only recognized them but shared their love for them, too!
And one person even gave me a little bit of history about them…
which I love knowing. It just makes me happy.

Social media is a funny thing. :)
I know it has its pitfalls and downsides and dark sides…
but mostly…I love it….because it gives me the possibility of
connection
that a self proclaimed introvert like me
would not normally be able to make.

I’m getting off topic. :)

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♥ Except that I am not really getting off topic. :)
The next thing I love is kinda related to social media, too.
For a long time, I only used my photography page for
sharing photography…and when I say photography,
I mean mainly paid sessions…and by that, I mean, mainly weddings.

And it was fantastic. I had great success with that page…
lots of interactions, connections, likes and comments
(and you know I like comments & likes! heehee)
but when the weddings stopped, I kind of stopped posting there.

I didn’t think that the people that followed my page for that
would be interested in what I am doing now…
haha….whatever it is that I am doing now…
dabbling….that’s what I am doing.
Picking at this, doodling that…little bit of writing,
a lot of random posts about mundane things in my life…
but I started slowly sharing little bits of that on my photography page
and, to my surprise and IMMENSE happiness,
not only did I not really lose any friends there,
I have actually started gaining some more! :)
And they comment and like and share and read my blog sometimes (hi there!!)
and we talk about books and cards and
where I should go on my next Friday adventure and
it makes me so incredibly happy.

Which makes me think about where to go next…
I feel like I would like to revamp that page a little…
but I would also like to revamp the blog…
and maybe start a Patreon page
which would give me another platform for sharing
some of the ideas that I have thinking about…
and might also help me be able to accomplish
some of the ideas that I have.
I feel like a Patreon page would force me to be
accountable and productive
and stop spinning my wheels and
jumping from one idea to another….
if I had paid subscribers waiting for specific things,
then that forces me to buckle down and focus…
but then…it’s about money…
and if you know me at all, you know I have issues
when it comes to pricing.

(I did my first wedding for 60.00 if that gives you an idea
of what I mean by that. Heh.)

Anyway…it’s a lot to think about and totally NOT where I
intended this post to go.

I wanted to tell you that I played Apples to Apples & Skip-Bo
for the first time last night and it was so fun, even though I lost.

And that I have a brand new bag of cinnamon hearts.
Oh…..and to say thanks for sticking with me for this long rambling muddled
post of a post. ♥

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wordless wednesday - the robots are taking over

i have good intentions...really...i do...

i love to read.
when i was a kid
i would read ANYTHING and literally EVERYTHING
i could get my hands on.

my summers were spent
upside down on the armchair
in our living room
eating apples and reading a book...
laying out in my pink panther
bathing suit on the roof of our porch,
slathered in baby oil listening to billy idol,
yelling at my brothers
and reading a book...
in a little grove of trees
in the field behind our house
eating wild strawberries
while hiding from my brothers
and reading a book...

my parents bought a set of encyclopedias
that came with a set of 10 books for kids...
i read them all.
repeatedly.
even the ones i hated.
i read my mother's borrowed copy of
vc andrews my sweet audrina
when i was about 10...probably too young to be reading about rape...
always careful to put the book back
exactly
where it was so i wouldn't get caught...
i read and re-read the same books hundreds of times...
and one summer
i even went through the good news bible
they gave us one year in the religion classes i detested
being forced to go to
looking for the parables.

i used to make my brothers walk 45 minutes
both ways
so i could go to the bookmobile.
they still say what a great babysitter i was.
:)

i loved books. 
and i always had every intention of returning them...on time...
but
i just never could.

it started with the miscouche school library & progressed
to the TOSH high school library...where the librarian
once saw me come in and shouted
(shouted! in a LIBRARY no less!  shouted!)
"YOU!  OUT!"
and sadly, it progressed to the bookmobile,
the town library...the library in the city 45 minutes away...
so i gave up on borrowing books.
i just wasn't good at it.

but that was before e-books!  and apps! 
and being able to return a book with just the push of a button on my phone!
AND (wonder of all wonders)
they gave me a new library card and a fresh blank slate.
and have you seen this library?
oh my 10 year old heart nearly cried
when i saw the new library
(i didn't stop and look around the night they gave me my card though...
i was scared someone would realize who i was and
shout YOU!  OUT! again)

but look at this place...

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and this space age thing...
LETS YOU CHECK OUT BOOKS
without
HAVING TO TALK TO ANYONE.
and...sometimes...that works for me...
nothing against the lovely librarians
(especially after they gave me a shiny new library card)
but sometimes...i'm just not good with
"people-ing"
heh.

oh.  and just for the record,
i have already returned physical books
ON TIME
(well...they were only on time because
i was able to extend the borrowing period
by pushing a button on my phone
but that's a minor detail)

look how proud i am
(OR look at what a geek/loser i am
taking a selfie of myself
returning my books...you decide...
just don't tell me which one you went with).

usually....

usually...september is my month...
not just because it's my birthday
and our anniversary...
but because it's always like a
mini january for me...
a bit of a fresh start,
a reason to make lists (like i need a reason, haha)
and set {or re-set} goals...
to prepare for the hunkering
down of winter
after the go-go-go feeling of summer...

but i'm struggling a little this year.

i don't know if it's because
i have no little ones
starting first days of school
backpacks in hand,
teeth missing and new sneakers to break in...

i am out of sorts.

lately there has been too much of
saying goodbye to people before you are ready
and stupid migraines in a cluster,
news that you try to avoid
cause what can you do about it
anyway
but yet it still manages
to creep into your brain
and keep you awake at night
wondering about the warmer oceans
and global discontent...

i am out of sorts this september.

but even as i write this...
i can feel it lifting a bit.
i started thinking about fall...and boots
on trail walks...crunchy leaves...
the smell of woodsmoke heavy in the air...
candles burning...books to read...
pajama pants and big soft blankets.
chicken fricot...hot chocolate with melty marshmallows...

yeah.
i feel better already!
i have to go...i have lists to make!
:)

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