friday i'm in love sorta kinda....

It’s been a strange kinda
up and down sorta day….

beautiful and sunny
but I still don’t want to go anywhere
because there are still trees and lines down
and I am not sure
I am ready to see the beaches yet…

day off but
not for a happy reason….
instead I feel heavy like lead
and quiet….

but sometimes,
you just gotta push through
to find yourself
on the other side
of your own feelings
and focus on the
things you love….

FRIDAY I’M IN LOVE:

♥ this made me giggle. so hard.
♥ awwwwwww. such a sweet little movie
♥ this version of addicted to love
♥ reading on the deck wrapped in a blanket

♥ getting back to the little blue desk
hanging out with sassy little geekgirls
with stripey socks and an attitude.

Happy Friday! ♥♥♥

taking a breath...

We were incredibly lucky
at the big orange house
as far as hurricane effing fiona went.

We lost one big tree in the back,
one of my prettiest trees
and I feel guilty even being sad
about that when so many people
lost so much more…
the destruction is heart breaking.

I can’t even look at it anymore.
I avoid facebook or tiktok or
anywhere that shows the
homes washed away,
the roofs blown off,
the destruction of beaches and
shoreline and wharves and boats
and dunes…bridges washed out completely,
flooding, power outages for days,
beautiful trees uprooted
and broken…
it hurts my heart
to see my island this way…

I know it can be fixed and rebuilt
to some degree but for now
I just can’t look anymore.
I don’t want to drive around in this..
and not just because it’s still dangerous to do so
but because
I think I would cry.

So instead,
I cope how I always cope…
avoidance & distraction.
Doodles of little geek girls with
stripey stocks and pig tails,
eating jello cups,
watching cartoons
and reading on the deck.

I hope everything is ok where you are.
That you are warm and fed and safe…
♥♥♥

friday i'm in love.....(but not with fiona....stupid hurricane head)

well….the hatches are battened
and there is chicken fricot on the stove,
fresh biscuits and cinnamon sugar donuts
from water street bakery,
frozen water bottles
ready to do double duty
as a cold back up if needed for food,
phones are charged,
all the animals are safe in the house,
even the roamer Finnegan the cat
though he is not happy about it.

FRIDAY I’M IN LOVE…

♥ I know I said this before…but JELLO CUPS
♥ I finally watched Spiderman - No Way Home!!!! :)
♥ my new snoopy mug and lucky charms hot chocolate

♥ chicken fricot, french biscuits, cinnamon sugar donuts
♥ today was IPSY DELIVERY DAY!!!

♥ i need to do this more.
♥ beautiful words

Stay safe….see you on the flip side of fiona ♥♥♥

It's been a long, long time....

I’m not sure what happened.
Summer blew by me in the
blink of an eye.
Now it’s September,
the end of September at that
and I am trying to get myself
back into productive mode
but it’s been hard,
I won’t lie.

But every day,
I get at least one more stupid
grown up task
crossed off my
grown up list…
(and add 3 more, heh).

Some bullet point truths I have learned
(or in some cases, relearned)

• no name diet cola is pretty ok. It’ll do in a pinch.

• extreme weather still terrifies me & makes me want to cry

• i LOVE jello cups…like….LOOOOOVE

• routines and consistency calm me even though I fight them

• fine tip felt pens are ♥

• admitting you need help with something doesn’t mean you are weak…it’s not a flaw…it’s kinda sorta a strength….(but still awful hard to do).

Hoping that this stupid stupid head
hurricane fiona
gets downgraded or dissolves
or whatever it is stupid hurricanes do
to disappear….
I have books and diet coke,
a sump pump plan of action
and possibly a flashlight maybe….
I think I will hunker down
with a weighted blanket and
some jello cups, a couple cartoons
and a pug
until all this goes away.
♥

post-covid-brain

i feel stunned…
literally.
Like my brain is
working
in slow motion.

I feel like I am
in this weird state
of hyper awareness…
every breath I take
feels like a thought
to be considered…
my movements feel
measured and
careful,
like I am
thinking
too hard about everything
that I am doing
instead of just letting it
happen naturally…

It’s a weird feeling…
a feeling of being suspended.
I’m not tired
but I want to sleep
this feeling away…
I want to wake up
and feel sharp and alive…

It’s a weird feeling.