happiness is a full tank of gas...
and a good playlist…
no destination
means sometimes
you end up in Greenwich
where the nice park guy
probably thinks you are a nut bar
because the first time you see him,
you panic because you think
maybe you were supposed to pay
to get in and you were going
to come back to a note
on your windshield again
so when he says hello
you say
was i supposed to pay?
i can go back
all panicky
(and no, there was no charge).
and then
when you meet him later
on his bike
you panic again
and say
am i on the wrong side
of the yellow line?
is this where i am supposed to be?
should i be over there??
in a panicky voice.
(it didn’t matter what side of the yellow
line you were on).
these were taken at the beginning of summer
but I am just getting around to posting them now.
blogging has taken a bit of a backseat…
along with everything else
but hoping to get back on top of things again.
:)
things i think i forgot i knew....
i was on my own
pretty much all weekend…
i think
somewhere
along the way
i started thinking
that i was alone
maybe too much,
that being alone
this much
was a bad thing,
a failing,
a problem to be solved,
something
to be kind of
embarrassed about…
a void to be filled
with distraction
and conversations
and attention.
but doing that
is not making me
happy.
this weekend,
i worked on the course,
took naps,
cleaned the house,
watered the garden,
ate fresh cucumber & tomato & raspberries…
read a book,
hugged the cat,
made supper for the kids,
laid in the grass & watched the clouds,
laid on the beach and
listened to seagulls and waves,
ate tiny doughnuts
and baby cupcakes,
tried not to look at my phone very much,
listened to new music,
scribbled in a journal,
painted a tiny watercolor,
chased the sunset
down dirt roads….
and i think i forgot
that
i
make me happy.
i make myself happy.
i forgot that i kinda like
being on my own…
and…i’m good at it.
(and this is not to say
that i don’t fully enjoy
and appreciate the time
that i spend with my family
and friends…i really, really do.
just somewhere
along the way,
i lost my way…
and felt that i was missing
something…
but i realize now
that something
can’t be forced.
if it’s gonna happen, it will.
but for now…
there’s no rush.)
:)
Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better.
Henry Rollins
the other end of the island...
friday was a sweet success of a day…
had a conversation in the gas station
about my polka dot dress and
was called
classy lassie as a result.
met up with a bff for our newly established
friday-at-lunch walk…
made friends with everyone in the line at access pei
while waiting for her to come out
heehee.
drove 2 hours to see another bff
at the other end of the island.
made a pit stop at micheals
(no, not to change in the parking lot this time)
for new watercolor paper….
maybe that will inspire me.
found new beaches,
climbed down a GIANT hill of rocks
and subsequently, back UP again…
stepped on a jelly fish
which is undeniably the grossest feeling
i have had in a long time,
had a close call where i almost ate a
PICKLED TURNIP…
or something…
drooled over bff’s new camper
which was more like a sweet little
fancy apartment on wheels…
seriously, i took my shoes off inside.
drove down a precarious dirt path
in a big truck 4 people jammed in a front seat.
giggled a lot….generally at jokes made at my expense
but that’s how i know they still love me…heehee
came home with 4 more tomato plants,
full of shawarma and rice
sand in my hair and dead jellyfish remains on the
bottom of my shoes,
exhausted and so happy.
yay for making the decision
to get of the house yesterday…
it was the right one.
AND THERE ARE STILL 2 DAYS LEFT OF THE WEEKEND!