hindsight is 2020...a review

there is a part of me that feels
like maybe it’s wrong
to do a review of 2020…
that 2020 has left a sour taste for
so many people…

i am a bit of a pollyanna-personality though.
:)

it’s just in my nature.
even the year my marriage ended,
i did a year end review
and was able to focus on the positives
so i guess i should be ok with
a pandemic.
heh.

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Every year, I reread my
journals, blog, facebook posts and instagram…
(and, not gonna lie, I catch myself thinking
that someone should take my internet away
many, many times during this exercise).

GEEK GIRL 2020 HIGHLIGHT REEL

♥ I read 31 books! My goal was 30 so I am ahead of the game albeit by a tiny margin,
but still…and one of the books was a computer science text book but I read it cover to cover
so it counts!

♥ Speaking of computer science, I passed my first course with 84% and plenty of tears,
cursing, frustration and questioning myself.

♥ I turned 50! and had a party complete with fireworks (and a stern warning not to light them myself…for good reason), McDonald gift cards for Happy Meals, lots of laughter, hugs and candy and my brother and partner-in-crime told me::

♥ they were taking me to CABOT TRAIL as part of my birthday present!! It was so great! I was able to cross something big off my bucket list AND spend some concentrated time with my niece and nephew who have learned that I am both amusing AND annoying on a road trip. Heh.

♥ After a lot of manual labor, back cramps and cursing, I was able to complete the yard clean up. It only took at least 43 yard bags and a dumpster, but I got it done. Other big orange house accomplishments included fixing the broken wheel on the lawn mower ONLY TO HAVE ANOTHER WHEEL IMMEDIATELY SHATTER, spray foam which resulted in a very artistic sculpture- y display but also kept the ants out, and a garden that produced roughly 60 billiondy tomatoes.

♥ Creatively, I sold some cards, paintings and a little book that someone asked me to put together. I am not gonna lie…that one pushed me HARD out of my comfort zone but the recipient was happy with the final result and that’s what matters. I also got out for lots of adventures with the camera and bought a new phone…JUST for the camera. AND I had a photo shared by CBC…not just CBC PEI (sorry, CBC PEI, I get excited about that, too) but the BIG CBC…like…CBC!!! :) I also built a smurf display!

the photo shared by the big CBC!! :)

♥ I watched all the Star Wars movies and all the Marvel movies! I joined a book club and even
went to some of the meetings! I started a photography club at work (pre-COVID) and started a book trading group with a friend in an effort to let go of some of my possessions. I also started an accountability group with a friend but again…COVID foiled our plans.

♥ I went snowshoeing, also got so lost in Bonshaw that I had to ask 4 grown ups to lead me out..I survived the gruesome shellfish foot injury of the summer of 2020 where I pretty much had my foot amputated (ok…it required a muppets band aid on it but still….I could have died.) I also accepted a marriage proposal from an internet scammer who thought I was a coal miner with 7 children…until I couldn’t give him two to three thousand dollars for foodstuff for his son…heh. Takes all kinds.

All in all, 2020 was not a bad year for me.

And honestly, I am hopeful for 2021.
I’m going into it with big plans, goals and ideas…
world domination blueprints and a weird sense of humor
just like I always do.

Happy New Year…thanks for sticking with me
as long as you have. I am always surprised that
this little scribbling I do in the teeny tiny quiet corner
of the internetsphere gets any readers at all…
so I greatly appreciate you. ♥♥♥

I hope 2020 was not too painful for you
and that 2021 brings you good things…and candy. :)
(mostly cause I think you are nice…
and that you will probably share with me….heh)

there were times today when I thought....

that maybe…
this…
is enough….
that maybe
this
is all i need….

a walk in the park
on christmas eve,
my boots crunching in the snow,
the sun peeking through frosty trees…
ice forming on the pond,
my breath in the air.

a video call with old friends…
a little voice on the doorstep
yelling merry christmas as my brother and
his family pop by to say hello…
sarah mclachlan christmas songs on repeat…
21 and his friend fixed my brakes last night…
the presents are bought…
plans are made for who will go where when tomorrow...
sweet texts to say someone is thinking of you..
making the cashier laugh when picking up
last minute things…

and i catch myself thinking
maybe
this
is enough…

i am full of happy.

i hope that this
christmas eve
finds you
full of happy, too.
i know it’s a hard one…
a different one…
a challenge, for sure.

but i am letting go of what
i think should be, of what once was,
of what it used to be…
and accepting what is.

Happy Christmas Eve! ♥

decembeREST

I have been thinking a little bit.
This Christmas is going to be different for me…
even more different than the
last two have been.
This is the first year that 25 will be working
on Christmas Day.

I have never not had the kids here
Christmas morning.

But I know that Christmas will likely be different
this year
for a lot of us…

If the separation taught me anything, though,
it showed me that just because things aren’t how they have always been…
that doesn’t mean that they can’t still be good.
You just have to redefine and realign.
Look for the positives,
feel the negatives if you have to…but don’t focus on them.

The other thing I have been thinking about
is that online dating has not been bringing me
much joy or happiness lately.
I feel like it’s become…meh. Boring. Annoying.
A distraction that served its purpose
when I needed it the most
but right now…I’m very, very happy.
I’m content.
And now I feel that what began as an intended distraction
is now really a distraction from where I actually want to
be spending my time.

So, I have decided for the month of December
I am going to delete the dating app and limit my social media…
I will still post on social media because, honestly, that fuels my creativity.
But I am going to limit endless scrolling
and if I do scroll, I am going to try to limit it to Pinterest
because that usually gives me a shot of inspiration.

I am thinking of December in terms of rest
right now and that makes me happy.
I am picturing
tea in a polka dot mug,
journals,
hot chocolate, chicken soup in a slow cooker,
music, podcasts, magazines,
Christmas movies with heavy blankets,
quiet walks all bundled up,
candles, books, snowmen,
maybe finally a puzzle.

And for whatever traditions
we can’t recreate this year,
we try something new.
Who knows…maybe it will stick…
I wouldn’t have thought jamming a
Christmas tree in the back seat of a civic
would become a tradition
but there it is.
:)

Happy Sunday.
Thanks for sticking with me through
all my moods and musings.
♥

sunday, sunday...

where have i been?

i have been asking myself that same question.
during summer,
i usually let things slide
over here in the land of
geekiness
but this year,
it seemed to slide right into fall.

when that happens,
i try not to panic.
i think maybe it’s just my brains way
of saying to take a rest
and let yourself be inspired instead,
a gentle reminder to
fill your well - it’s getting empty.

i did take a lot more photos
this summer & fall then i have
in a long time
so that was a nice change.

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i also finally went to a book club that
i have been a part of for a long time…
and the book we are doing is the Artist’s Way
which made me very happy.

i have done the book before but
it was years ago and on my own.
this is a fun, different way to do it…
i like being held accountable to some degree
and it’s been interesting to get other views on it
and ideas plus i love the thought of making
connections with other people
outside your own circle…
i kinda think
that’s where the synchronicity seeds can start being planted.

happy sunday! :)

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wordless wednesday

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