17

on saturday,
my boy turned 17.

17.
how can that be.
seventeen.

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and on friday, he got his driver's license...

i feel like time
is playing tricks on me...
it is speeding down a highway
with the windows wide open
and the radio blaring
and the trees & the mailboxes
are flying past
in a blur.

i would like it to slow down a little...
you know...maybe do 40 kms for a bit,
on a quiet country road
with a warm breeze
and the sound of crickets and frogs...

i want to pump the brakes a little.

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my little big-headed boy with the dark brown eyes
and messy hair...now taller than his dad
(but still with messy hair)
cars, music, gaming, future plans (a and b)...
always so sweet and funny and thoughtful ♥

happy birthday, bighead.
it's gonna be a great year.

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at the end of the day...

this has been such a great weekend.

i have already told you all about our
lunch trip to fable tearoom
but when i got home
from there, my girl
texted me to talk
about laptops
and how she needs to get one
for this weekend
so she can do a paper.

now...i know my girl has every
capability and ability to
purchase her own laptop
but under the guise of
"but she may need me"
i quickly offered to "pop" over
and help her.

yes.  i know i am pathetic and
will not be able to visit her once a week
for the rest of my life
but whatever...i can admit my issues.
:)

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the rest of the weekend has flown by
with naps and editing,
laundry and blog-reading/writing,
emails, doodles and ice cream sandwiches.

we made this...well...stirling made it...
i just dictated what should not be in it
(namely NOT peas...and NOT carrots...and that we should
add potatoes)...
and it was SO good.
 

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and i didn't get this on the weekend
but have not had a chance to share it here.
i got to work on the day after leaving Emma in Moncton
and was admittedly dragging my feet a little
and still feeling a bit sad...
and this
absolutely ADORABLE mushroom house
was waiting for me on my desk.

it literally made me laugh out loud
and i may have even clapped my hands a little.

there was no note attached
but i immediately had a "suspect" in mind...
when i asked her about it later
she started to deny
but the grin gave it away.

people can be so damn kind and awesome and talented...
♥ ♥ ♥
i can't wait to do a photo session with the smurfs!
thank you, Lisa!!

happy weekend!  :)

tuesday truth:: that phone call...

i didn't want to write about this last week.
i couldn't.
i think the scare was still too fresh,
too real,
too raw.

a phone call during supper...

a nurse is on the line
telling you first
that everything is ok,
remember that when
we tell you the rest...
everything is ok.

and yet
my heart still fell to the floor
when they said
"we have campbell here...
he's been in a car accident".

{everything is ok...remember...everything is ok}

we rush up to emergency
and find him in the same big room
that stirling was in after his bike accident...
neck brace on
but just as a precaution...
xrays are done,
ultrasounds and blood pressure,
and many, many
times being told
how lucky he was,
how lucky all 3 of them were.

the nurse was right,
everything really is ok.
he is fine, the other kids are ok...
lessons have been learned
the hard way
(but not as hard
as they could have been.)

and once again
i have been reminded
that life can change
on the spin of a dime...
to hug the people i love
every time i can
and to stop what i am doing
to really listen to their stories...
to pay attention,
to be present,
to not take any time for granted.
 

can we just s l o w things down...just a little...

one night when she was very little,
she started crying as i was tucking her into bed...
she said she didn't want to grow up
and move out...
ever.

i assured her then
that she never had to move out.
she could live with us forever.
"even my husband?" she said
"even if i get married?"

even your husband, i said.

............................................................................

today we left you in your shiny new apartment
armed with new pots and pans
and a cookie sheet that doesn't fit your oven.
we made you try all of your keys
and drove around looking for bus stops
and making you maps...

and then, we hugged you tight
and whispered "be good" & "love you"
and then my throat closed over tight
and i couldn't say anymore
so i had to just wave instead
and hope that i have told you
everything i needed to tell you,
have shown you everything i should have...
and still, i was texting you before
i even had the car door shut.

it is hard, this thing about growing up...
it is so much harder than i ever thought it would be.
i think a little part of my head (and heart)
thought that maybe
they would really always live at home.

maybe i wasn't reassuring her back then
that she could always live with us...
i was reassuring me.

and yes.
i get it.  i know that she will be fine
and that this is the next logical step
and i am every little bit proud of her as i can be
for making this move and being this brave...
and i know that she can do this.
she is smart and funny and sharp...
she is so much more confident and strong than
i ever thought of being at that age,
but still...
it's a bittersweet parenting victory.

one kid away from home, the other one starting grade 12...
i just want to pump the brakes a little...
just slow things down...
just a little...
you can still grow up...
but be patient with me...
my heart might have a little catching up to do...
it's been in denial for a long time.
:)
 

friday i'm in love (it's been a long time...)

i am late posting about last weekend
but it was such a great weekend
i feel it definitely qualifies for
friday i'm in love status...
even a week late.

friday we took our girl to the big city
apartment hunting which was, of course,
scary and sad and stressful while also
exciting and happy and fun...
which is how this whole
our-girl-is-moving-away-going-to-school
adventure has been so far.  ♥

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saturday was a wedding in a beautiful area of PEI...
sweet young couple...lots of laughs and tender moments
and handstands....
yes...handstands...handstands on TOP of other people....
which i can honestly say i have not had at a wedding before
but am glad that i had the opportunity to add them to the list.  :)

i was a little bummed though to be
at the other end of the island
knowing that at my end of the island
friends were going to be meeting up at green shore
to watch the tragically hip
give their final concert in kingston
and CBC was streaming it...for free...& summerside
was showing it on the big screens...
and i was going to miss it.

i put a hip playlist on my phone
and played it on the drive home
but...
it just wasn't the same thing.

i decided i would go anyway...
whatever time i got into town.
i stopped for gas and my friend messaged me and said
"second encore...
new orleans is sinking"
and there were many eff words and the pounding
of the steering wheel.

but i made it in time for the third encore...
the last encore...the last 3 songs.
and it was so totally worth it.

sunday was family fun day for whoever could make it to mill river...
with so many of us now and jobs, kids, commitments, life...
it's hard to get us all together in one place,
but we keep trying.  :)

and i swear...my father has got to have
the fountain of youth in his
backyard because i have never met a 70+ year old
so full of life and fun and mischief.

as evidenced by this video:

and what's friday i'm in love without some
evidence that the internet is both
the best and worst thing in the world
(especially if your plan was to be productive today
because, if you are me, it just didn't happen.)

♥  this letter..."also please say something that will make everybody calm"  i hear ya, kid. 
♥  caught reading - a pinterest board that i love
♥  tallulah...if you have not yet seen this movie, go watch it.  i ♥ ellen page.
♥  women having a terrible time at parties (in art form) this made me laugh out loud
♥  Blue Rivers of Bioluminescent Shrimp

happy weekend!