tuesday truths {the "winter makes me bitter" edition}

January 30, 2018 Arlene Giddings

☼☼☼
i hate being cheated
out of the promise of a good storm day.
i love a good storm day.
what is the point of living in a place
with bitter cold winters
if you can't get a good storm day once in a while.

and today...i felt cheated.
i'm still bitter.

☼☼☼
i am failing spectacularly
at almost
all
of my new years resolutions...
ALREADY.
it's been so long since i have been to the gym,
i think i forget where it is.
i am existing on diet coke and mike and ikes.
no sauna.
no board games.
no eating healthier.
sigh.
winter does this to me.
i just want to wrap myself in
layers of fuzzy blankets
and sleep
until the sun comes out...

☼☼☼
i may have created a new playlist
consisting of mainly power ballads
and one country song
at 3 am the other night
when i couldn't sleep...

usually....

September 6, 2017 Arlene Giddings

usually...september is my month...
not just because it's my birthday
and our anniversary...
but because it's always like a
mini january for me...
a bit of a fresh start,
a reason to make lists (like i need a reason, haha)
and set {or re-set} goals...
to prepare for the hunkering
down of winter
after the go-go-go feeling of summer...

but i'm struggling a little this year.

i don't know if it's because
i have no little ones
starting first days of school
backpacks in hand,
teeth missing and new sneakers to break in...

i am out of sorts.

lately there has been too much of
saying goodbye to people before you are ready
and stupid migraines in a cluster,
news that you try to avoid
cause what can you do about it
anyway
but yet it still manages
to creep into your brain
and keep you awake at night
wondering about the warmer oceans
and global discontent...

i am out of sorts this september.

but even as i write this...
i can feel it lifting a bit.
i started thinking about fall...and boots
on trail walks...crunchy leaves...
the smell of woodsmoke heavy in the air...
candles burning...books to read...
pajama pants and big soft blankets.
chicken fricot...hot chocolate with melty marshmallows...

yeah.
i feel better already!
i have to go...i have lists to make!
:)

rainbows and watercolors

August 8, 2017 Arlene Giddings

the other night
i was working on a new watercolor...
(and when i say working on, i mean struggling with...)
when i happened to look
out the window
and see this bright & shiny rainbow
over my neighbors house.

i really need to reconfigure my workspace...it's better than it was but i think i need more space.

i grabbed the camera
and ran outside
barefoot in the spitting rain.

sometimes
it's good to walk away
from what you are working on
and
get your feet wet
while looking for
end of the rainbow...

when i came back in,
i felt like my frustration
with feeling like i don't know what i am doing
with these brushes, this paper, this color...
why doesn't anything on the paper
match what is in my head,
why do youtube videos
make it all
look
so damn
easy.

anyway.
i felt better when i came in
and was able to finish what i was working on
with fresh eyes
and less eff words.

although...
i tried doing her feet different
and now she looks like
she is suspended in air...
sigh.

and one last photo...of the cat...cause...look at his cute little nose! :)

it's time to play the music, it's time to light the lights...

May 12, 2017 Arlene Giddings

well....this is it.
opening night tonight...
{shameless plug but there's still time to get tickets!}

if i said i wasn't nervous,
i'd be completely and totally
lying through my teeth.

i feel sick and excited all at once.
it's a strange feeling...
i can't wait for it to start
and i can't wait for it to be over
all at the exact same time.

the back and forth emotions of
being so scared i'm going to screw up my lines
or accidentally whisper bad words under my breath into the microphone
when i forget to pick up a prop...
to remembering the excitement of last year
and how amazing it was when you were backstage
and you heard that first roar of laughter...
and all the laughter that came after...in all of the right places...

so.

here goes nothing....
(and everything...all at once).

here's to many broken legs...
(I'm not sure if that is how one
wishes good luck to all of her cast-mates...
but...you get my drift, right?)

tuesday truths...

May 2, 2017 Arlene Giddings

i have not been here
in a long, long time.

it's not that i haven't thought
about coming here...
i just got carried away
with spring
and tiny sprouting sunflower seeds
and planting string bean seeds
and daydreaming about
what to plant where
and how much
and should i build a fort
in the backyard
and camouflage it with string bean plants.

i feel a little obsessed.
but in a good way.
:)

my back is aching and my
tennis elbow does not like raking...
my neck is stiff and face is
slightly windburnt...
my polka dot rubber boots
have stepped in sheep manure...
most of the time, i have no idea
what i'm doing
but
that's kind of half the fun.

oh...and when i am not out tearing
the yard apart
i'm in the house rehearsing my lines
for the next play...
i know...i know...
i might have said i would never do it again,
ok...i might have swore that i would never do it
again but you know me...
i secretly like to be shoved out of my comfort zone.
and it really was a lot of fun last time...
and even better this time now that i have a little
better idea of what to expect.

and again...if you see me muttering and gesturing
to myself as i walk home from work,
it's ok! i'm just repeating my lines..over...and over...and OVER...
i'll understand if you don't make eye contact...
i would probably do the same.
:)