this is 53....

this has been the best
birthday weekend ever…
my heart feels full.
literally.

sunflowers,
friends,
lemon tart that is too die for good…

art supplies,
an ice cream sundae from Cows,
a visit to island hill farm
with a friend,
held a baby goat AND a bunny,
sugar doughnuts,
lemon filled doughnuts….

i visited my parents this morning
and dad is doing good! :)
then 23 came over and cut my lawn
(which is desperately needed)
and 28 ordered us Chinese take-out…

i feel like i have gone into 53
in perfectly happy and content way.
♥♥♥

it's been a bit of an odd summer...

my brain doesn’t
quite know
what it wants
to do…
i mean, let’s be honest,
it never really does.
it’s always been
a bit of a fickle pickle
of a brain
bouncing about
like a frenzied rubber ball
going this way and that…

but lately…

it’s bouncing between
really really up and
let’s buy groceries
cause we are gonna cook things
and let’s refinish furniture
and go places
and start jogging
and maybe write a book
while also repainting the
living room…

and really really down
where i can’t get out of my own way…
tonight i had to put an oil treatment
in my hair
just to ensure that i didn’t go to bed
at 6:30…cause
that’s what i really wanted to do.

and at the same time,
i feel like summer is rushing by
in a flash of rain clouds
and scattered thundershowers
and i haven’t camped yet,
i haven’t gone away,
i haven’t had a bonfire or gone to the drive in
and i feel panicky
and then that makes me tired
so i go to bed
at 6:30.

this will pass.
i think.
i hope.
i just need some deep breaths
and sunshine
and maybe a doughnut.

or a nap.

sometimes...

sometimes
i talk
too much…
a lot…
non stop…
i get excited
about all the little things
& i just want
to share
and share
and share some more…

and sometimes…
i don’t want
to talk at all.

i am sleepy
and quiet
and i can’t
find the energy
to get out of
my own way…

maybe both extremes
are ok…
two sides of my tarnished
bent and broken coin…
maybe i should just lean into it
and stop
trying to fight it….
trying to always be
energized and bubbly and creative.

it’s ok to rest, too.

especially on rainy days.
♥

also i seem
to be on a little
fairy kick…
not sure where they are coming from…
but i like that they are visiting
and that they don’t eat all the
candy…just a little bit.

a perfectly perfect long weekend....

this weekend
had a little bit of
everything
i could want
in a long weekend.

Trails, beaches,
a little bit of family time,
some productive time
around the house -
lawn cut and whippersnipped,
house cleaned up,
pop tent moved to a it’s new location…

Sunburns, fireworks,
fresh strawberries,
lemon sugary donuts,
new headphones,
blogging in bed,
fans full blast,
reading books every chance I get
and trying to
absorb every second of this weekend.

As I write this I am 100% happy
but also exhausted
and wondering if 7:30 is too early for bed….
cause it’s definitely
too late for a nap
and I still have one day of this
sweet long weekend left.

I hope your weekend
was full of all the
little things that
make you smile.
♥

friday i'm in love

It’s Friday and I am off until Tuesday…
and then off most of next week, too.
I am feeling a strong
hello summer where have you been vibe
happening in my life
right now.

Today I spent 3 hours on a trail
and just lost myself in flowers
and butterflies and rainstorms
and the smell of sweet clover
and fresh cut grass
and watched the clouds pass by.

And I realized
I am a
meanderer.
Which is not a real word
but it aptly describes who I am
so I am owning it.
I meander. Aimlessly.
I explore. I mosey along….
I lollygag….I putter….
I get lost in the details of bark on a tree
or see dragon heads emerging from clouds
and then I make up stories
in my brain as I
meander.

It’s why I am alone so much. :)

All in all, it was a very good Friday.

THINGS I AM LOVING:

• i love miniatures

• this. i am considering doing this for myself….as I STILL often reach for my no longer existent wedding ring.

• this feels appropriate right now…and honestly, all of the time.

• my perfectly perfect new adventure backpack that got fully broken in on today’s hike

• i know if you follow me anywhere else, you will already know this but THIS BOOK. I am loving this frigging book….I took book breaks while walking today. And also, Finnegan loves the book but was slightly distrustful of the hammock. :D

I kinda feel like this is how I want summer to be…
books, yummy food, hammock, trails, books, photography,
beaches, bare feet, messy hair….just leaning into summer
with all my might.

What’s on your list? ♥