friday i'm in love....

I met this little guy
while out taking photos
of dirt roads
and blossomy trees…
he was sweet enough to
pose for a photo…
but then he said he had to run,
something about a meeting
he was late for.

THINGS I AM LOVING ON A FRIDAY….

♥ this resonated with me…how do YOU define success…
♥ the surprise sesame street bag that was left on my doorstep

♥ a co-worker friend dropping off eggs and tomato plants!!
♥ attempting to cut my back lawn at least 3 times now & coming
home today to see that someone finished it for me….people
are seriously so sweet
♥ spending part of my Friday adventure in a BFF’s
brand spanking new hot tub! :)
♥ now THIS is my kinda connoisseur, heeheehee…no…seriously.
♥ They found Manuela!!!!!
♥ this is soooooo mesmerizing!!!
♥ pretty pink flowers and sparkle shoes

Happy Friday to you!!!
♥♥♥♥♥

whatcha readin'? {goal 35::book 9}

Oh, how I loved this book.

Once again, I really wasn’t expecting anything.
I don’t even know where I got this one…
and I had just bought like 3 new books
but saw this one sitting on my end table
(where it has sat for about a year
untouched
in full view)
and for some reason,
the blue-green cover suddenly caught my attention.

And it kept my attention.

The writing was beautiful, lyrical, sensory
and full of evocative imagery…
I realized after that this was a Reese book club pick
and then I was like yeah, I can see that.
I always love the books they pick.

Anyway, it was a beautiful read.
I was sad to see it come to an end.

Definitely 5♥♥♥♥♥’s out of 5
NEXT UP:: SISTER STARDUST - JANE GREEN

deep sunday thoughts...a tiny confession...and one bad word

I keep thinking I am going to get
to this page more…
and then I don’t.

I trip, I stumble,
I post 3 times in a row…
I don’t post for a month.

I write posts in my head
but they don’t make it to the keyboard….
they leak out of my brain
along with payments due
and grocery lists and
lyrics I thought I would always remember.

Age is a funny thing.

I never cared much about my age…
I always felt younger than what the numbers
on my license add up to…
but lately, I see changes I don’t like…
a flabby neck, weight that gathers quicker
and stays longer, deep lined creases
that go beyond smile lines.

And mostly….I am ok with that.
Mostly I am ok with me.

But some days, I feel an inkling of fear,
trailing me, tracking me…
whispering what if you are always alone….
or is that what you really want?

(and I don’t know the answer)

52 is starting to feel like
the awkwardness of 15 again.

I don’t know how to dress my age,
I don’t know how to be me anymore,
I don’t know what this me is supposed to look like.
I don’t know what she wants to look like
because she is fickle and undecided and
happy as can be and yet painfully lonely,
content and positive but scared as hell in the middle of the night….
some days she wants to move to the country,
get some power tools, dress only in overalls
and let her hair get as long and tangly as it wants
while she goes around with dirty bare feet
and paints everything purple
and polka dotted.

And some days, she wants to drive away from everything
and cover the rear view mirror with thick black paint
so she can never look back.

52 is a funny age.
Maybe even more so
when one is alone
and the decisions are
not driven by anyone else….

I am driving my own ship…
I chart the waters, I choose the direction…
I can push it forward,
or I can run it aground…

Either way….it’s all on me.

That’s both liberating…
and fucking terrifying.

Anyway, once more…not what I came here to write
but these are the words that came out
so I share them
just in case someone out there
might be able to relate.
*waving hello & yelling “we got this!” if you are in this boat too.

maybe none of us are alone

or maybe….we all are.
♥

one weekend in spring...

4 day weekend full of
books read by the beach
in the rain

polka dot rubber boot
excursions on a quiet, wet shore…
doughnuts….so many doughnuts…
a coffee date where we stayed
til they closed the place down…

cat cuddles…
a visit with my parents…
a little bit of planning for the summer
with great anticipation and excitement…

Spring makes me smile.
Happy Easter…hope the bunny found you. ♥

sundaze

It was a pretty good week
in the big orange house…mostly.

For some reason,
it was a pretty headache-y week…
but some good things
happened in spite of that.

My IPSY order came!

I didn’t take any photos this time
but this was from the website…
I totally love the lip gloss!

Got a pedicure!
New sparkly toes
all ready for summer
and flip flops
and beach sand!

#whatiwore

IN THE BIG ORANGE HOUSE::

WATCHING: finished The Act; Million Little Things; finished Inventing Anna - SOOO good!
We Need To Talk About Cosby - finished…SOOOO disturbing.

READING: Anxious People - Fredrik Backman

LISTENING TO: Broken - Jonah Kagen

EATING: bananas dipped in betty crocker chocolate icing

GRATEFUL: the headache went away, chicken fricot, cinnamon-y crescent rolls,
pretty red tulips in a glass vase, pedicure, lunch with the girls, a work lunch
earlier in the week, sparkly light eye shadow.