2021 - glow

I have been choosing a word
to use as my touchstone,
as my focus point,
as my compass
since 2008

Some years, it has worked really
well for me…
other years, I had forgotten what the
word even was by February.

Last year,
my word was ignite.
It was a good word…
just maybe, bad timing.
COVID slowed me down a little
in the sense that it caused
a lot of mental and emotional stress & strain
even if I wasn’t directly negatively affected
in the way that others were.

Adjustments and fear and negativity
and the new normal and vaccines
and all of that strain wears you down
even if you aren’t aware of it at the time…
I found myself more emotional, easily angered,
scared, sad, and tired…soooooo tired.

Anyway. My point is it was not the word that failed
but the circumstances. And I did have some gains
in the areas that I wanted to move forward in
so it was not a total loss.

View fullsize

This year,
I knew I wanted to focus on self care.
I turned 50 this year….if you follow me here
or on other social media,
you will know that I do not always make my own
health a priority. Haha.

In 2021, I want to be truly happy and secure.
I want INTRINSIC happiness, i want it to come from within.
And when I picture that, I picture myself glowing…
so that became 2021’s word.
It just immediately resonated with me.

This means my big picture goals
are going to be related to things like
less screen time (putting my phone away),
meditation, yoga (with definite goals),
healthy eating, vitamins, medical appointments…
that kind of thing.

I am also considering stepping back
creatively in a sense.
Too often, I let myself
get caught up in what
would other people like to see,
what would sell?
Or I agree to create things based on
specifics…
which has been very good for me
as far as pushing me out of my comfort zone
but I am considering
making this year about just
free-styling…
winging it…
follow my gut feelings
and interests and see where they take me.

(this is not to say that I won’t have
any items for sale this year…just that it
won’t be my main focus during the
creative process…)

View fullsize

I’m looking forward to the new year…
all bright and shiny and optimistic and
hope it’s full of laughter, health and happiness for everyone.
♥♥♥

2019::Unfold

every year
i choose a word for the year…
a word to help
push me or gently guide me
depending on the need.

some years,
it has worked amazing…
other years, i may or may not have forgotten
what the word was
before the last sunset in
the first week of
january.

and that’s ok.
i don’t worry too much about it.
if it works, that’s great!
and if not, well, maybe i just picked the wrong word for that year.

looking back::

2018::Embrace - yeah…not so much. But, in my defense, the year kinda sucked no matter what word i would have chosen.
2017::Adventure - this one went really well for me…it was when i started my Friday Adventures :)
2016::Happy
2015::Risk - the year i decided it was time to cut back/stop shooting weddings
2014::Balance
2013::Brave
2012::Leap
2011::Connect
2010::Play/Expand
2009::Dare - this was another one of my best years related to my word
2008::Focus - looking back, I think this was helpful for the following year…

and this year, 2019, I am choosing a gentle word.
unfold.
a passive verb, if there is such a thing…
i need to let go a little, to relax, to stop holding on so tight
to what used to be….
and let a new beginning unfold.

i don’t want to force it or plan it or rush it or demand that it match
some preconceived picture in my head….
i just want to take my time and allow things to happen
as they happen.

which does not mean that i won’t be setting goals and
creating habit trackers and devising blueprints for taking over the world… :)
i do have a lot of things that i want to shift my focus to this year.

mainly in the creative areas of my life.
that’s where i feel excitement and fire and butterflies in my belly….
(all in a good way)…

but…in other areas, the areas that are murky and blurred and
sometimes, a little scary…the areas that involve change
and transition and how do we do this now when we are no longer “we”…
what happens next? how does one move forward?
what does moving forward even look like for me?
well. that part i am going to let go of.
i think that going through our first Christmas apart
might have taught me that it is ok to let go of any expectations…
to just let it happen….don’t worry about what new tradition should
replace one that you feel you lost…let the new tradition find you…
maybe it will be jamming a christmas tree in the back seat of the car
every year…maybe it will be picking up breakfast at a local gas station
coffee shop and then laughing about how you froze in the
drive through and ordered everyone some sort of weird (but good) vegetarian garden bagel…

maybe it will be playing a rousing game of parcheesi at the end of the day.

regardless, i have resolved to just let it find me.
and the same with new relationships and friendships…
i am going to stop panicking that i will be alone for the rest of my life
because i am incredibly awkward and far too forthcoming on social media…(this post is proof of that)
and
just
let
whatever
happens….
happen.

let it unfold.

View fullsize

the end of 2017 (warning: a teeny tiny bit of cursing ahead)

today marks the end of another year.
part of me wants to say good riddance
but i realize that although i struggled a little with 2017...
it was not all bad.

i planted a much too large and very active garden.
i chose ADVENTURE as my word for the year
and then went on many "friday adventures" which i LOVED doing.
i had some items for sale at the Muddy Crick Market.
i kayaked (and did not drown).
i joined a gym (and actually went).
i read 20 books...almost hitting my goal of 24.
i got to be in a 2nd play and it was so much fun getting to yell at people
and be a little "unhinged" as my character Laura.
i went to see the truck and tractor pulls in crapaud.
i drove down lots of dirt roads.
i ate ice cream sundaes every chance i got.
i drew many, many robots...not 365 yet but still working on that.

when i look back at that list,
i have to admit it was a pretty good year...
which gives me hope for 2018.

we all have rotten stuff that goes on behind the scenes.
stuff you don't want to talk about, stuff you don't want to display.
i would be lying if i said that things are always
as sweet and easy as ice cream sundaes and fluff filled doughnuts
over here in the big orange house....
but i am sure that is the same for anyone.

but i am making a conscious choice to go into 2018
with the intention to be positive...
which is why
when i thought about
what i would set for
my goals and resolutions this year,
i have decided that instead of
the usual
go to the gym/lose weight/pay the bills on time/cut out diet coke
i am going to focus on
FUN.
fuck it.
why not.

so this years resolutions will include:
boardgames
lego
friday adventures
roller coasters
puzzles
kayaking
camping
farmers markets
making new friends
spending time with old friends
live bands
building a snowman army
getting a bike
road trips
sleepovers
laughing til you almost puke and pull a muscle in your ribs
water balloons
saying yes

catch you on the flip side of a brand new year!
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

 

View fullsize

tuesday truths

♥
i've made a lot of new years resolutions this year
but, you'll be relieved to know,
giving up diet coke
was not one of them.

♥♥
i am in love with this show
and cannot believe that more people
are not raving about it...
it. is. so. funny.

♥♥♥
speaking of tv's...
ours decided last night that it no longer
wanted to exist in this world....it finally broke for real...
after warning us for months that this was coming...
which has made us very sad
and slightly panicky...
WE HAVE NO TV.

♥♥♥♥
i almost forgot to tell you this
but it's very, very important.
i loved the book "girl on the train"...
like...loved it....
but ohmygawdthemovie was SO freakin' bad.
and i LOVE emily blunt....normally...
what has happened.
i mean, i am used to and slightly expecting
that a movie is not going to live up to a book
but this....
this was painful.

♥♥♥♥♥
i dropped my phone twice yesterday.
do you have any idea how absolutely
terrifying that is...
if i break my phone,
THERE IS NOTHING TO REPLACE IT WITH
UNTIL THE NOTE 7 STOPS EXPLODING.
it's like carrying around a limited edition
12" EP of little red corvette that was pressed
by Prince himself in his own studio in the backyard
of Paisley Park and autographed
in his own blood
every day...
it can't be replaced and
it could break AT ANY TIME...

♥♥♥♥♥♥
one of the new years resolutions
that i DID make
is to blog more
so...
consider yourself warned.
heh.
but the good thing is
my resolve to follow resolutions
is
generally short lived.
:)
 

#tbt - what's the word

a little bit of a different #tbt today.

it's january
which gets me thinking about
resolutions
and fresh starts
and goals and lists and
all that stuff just makes my heart race
with geeky excitement
even though
i am cynic enough
to realize
that every year
i make a lot of the
exact
same
resolutions
and don't normally stick to them...
but the optimist in me is still
cheering
and waving her pretend pompoms...yelling
this year will be different,
this year you can DO IT!
:)

and every year, i choose a word
to be the backdrop for my year...
last year, it was happy
but, in all honesty,
last year
was not my happiest year.

2015 was risk...
and it's funny as i read what i wrote
in 2015...
it feels very similar to what i thought about today
as i chose my word for 2017...
only...maybe less negative sounding...
i haven't fully decided yet if it is the right word for 2017
(hey...a year is a long time to be stuck
with a word that sucks!)
but i feel pretty close.

what about you?
do you choose a word?  a theme? 
make resolutions?  break resolutions?
i'd totally love to know that there are
others out there like me...
:)